One of the largest responses that I got to a recent survey of people’s goals with their horses was about trust. People wanted their horse to trust them and wanted to be able to trust their horse.
This is such an important topic all by itself that I have decided to do a special blog on it.
So click here for this 3 minute audio about how to get real trust with your horse
Just a quick note – I HAVE A PLAN to get the kind of trust that I am talking about. Click here to have a look at the blog “What makes a horse a soul mate?”
WRITTEN VERSION OF THE AUDIO
There are two vastly different things meant by people when they talk about trust. The meanings are sooo… vastly different that they really should be two completely different words.
One kind of trust is the kind that says “trust me – even though you are afraid, blindly deny your own screaming instincts and do what I say anyway”.
Crikey, we’ve all been there haven’t we – put THAT kind of trust in someone or something, only to have gotten hurt. In fact, in hindsight, EVERY time I have been hurt, this kind of trust, this kind of ignoring of my fear has been at the bottom of it.
The other kind of trust is something so deep, so confident, so knowing all the way to your bones that you are safe with that horse or that person or in that place that it wouldn’t even occur to you to think about it as trust.
And this all the way to your bones trust is the only sort that I am interested in having.
So how do we get THAT kind of trust?
We get that all the way to your bones kind of deep confidence by committing to ourselves and our horse to listen to every fear and every tiny early warning signal that something is Not Quite Right – by committing to ourselves and our horse to take some kind of action EVERY SINGLE TIME, to have a feeling of safety with each other. That feeling of safety that will bring peacefulness or happiness back again.
We get that all the way to our bones trust between us and our horse by making a commitment to that kind of confidence in each other, by making a commitment to listen to each other and to take action to change something to make us feel safe again – EVERY TIME WE OR OUR HORSE ARE AFRAID.
So it’s interesting isn’t it – that the kind of trust I WANT, the kind of bond that I want, the kind of soul mate relationship that I want - is got by ignoring the OTHER, blind, ignoring kind of trust and listening and taking whatever action it takes to make me and my horse feel deeply and meaningfully safe.
Enjoy noticing the difference between those two vastly different types of trust and know that every fear and every early warning signal that something is Not Quite Right – is another opportunity for happiness for you and your horse. And hey, whatever activities we do with our horse – that’s the feeling we are looking for hey?