One of the greatest gifts in this clinic was peoples’ gift to each other – their willingness to be open and vulnerable and share such deep stuff – sometimes live and sometimes by email afterwards. It was a privilege to be a part of that. The amount of vulnerability I needed to flow with personally, working with one of my own horses who was sick, has been an incredible journey that I can already see has a much larger bigger picture, which you’ll all hear about in the near future.
I particularly loved how the changes in US changed what was happening in our horses. Is it the chicken or the egg that we’re working on, when we attend to what WE’RE feeling inside about THEM being sick or injured and they are automatically affected by that? That is, are we feeling THEIR stuff and by finding the message / understanding / big picture behind it, they get well when getting well is what they want at the same time? Or is it OUR stuff that we’re feeling and by attending to that, we kind of get out of our horse’s way? See what I mean – chicken or egg – which comes first and is more important?
And does it even matter?
Because we are all One.
From Adriane
I just want to say thanks to everyone. I appreciate the support and company on my journey and hope that I did the same for others.
I’m still in the process of what I can only call thawing; thawing of the frozen parts of my life where the trauma was too great to cope with. Finally grieving for the little kid who couldn’t cope with what was happening to her and finally knowing down to my bones that everyone has these stories that they are also coping with in the best way they can. Finally, finally, it has sunk in that everyone’s healing experiences are going to be quite different. I have found that my “aha!” moments are very, very quiet and just present themselves as a peaceful feeling. Half the time that they come I’m half asleep, if not totally, and I’m not really sure what has happened…except that I feel completely OK for a while.
I’ve also finally realized the timing is different for everyone, slow or fast is irrelevant, it’s the journey. And that we’re all in this together….
Thanks to everyone! Adriane
Jenny: It was gorgeous to get an “emergency” call from Adriane about something weird happening, that turned out to be a NONoverwhelm way that she was processing that old stuff. It felt disconcerting simply because it was such a new feeling. Wooohoo!
From Kim for Adriane:
Adriane said she was reading “Man’s Search for Meaning” and Sandra said Adriane might want to read more survivor books. Mark and I just read one that is also about the holocaust. It is by Edith Eger and called “The Gift.” Edith became a psychologist, great friends with Victor Frankl, and her book is excellent. What she says is that no matter what happens to us, we all have a choice how we deal with the aftermath.
Suzanne has a broken wrist from getting knocked over in an accident with her horses – the one who injured her was unaware that she was standing precisely there. I sent her the lesson below (not a help this time but will help for the future!) and asked her what was the big picture behind the accident, the “why” it happened. In my own life I’ve been able to look back on every accident long after the event and been able to see the gift that came from it. It’s lovely these days to be able to “see” the gift in it straight away, rather than looking back years later. It means that I can enjoy the reason, straight away.
In my healing work also, I’ve dealt with heaps of injured people whose recoveries are often quite dramatic when they’ve understood the “why” of an accident happening. Unless the “why” was that they needed a rest!
Get well soon Sue! <3
Fast Track Lesson 30 – Pay attention to me please has become a way of life for me for a long time now. I developed the “game” for my granddaughter when she was tiny and crawling under fences to get to the horse herd. I knew she’d be safe as long as they knew she was there. So when you read and listen to this lesson, think of that tiny little 3 year old voice saying “thanks Bobby, thanks Boots, thanks Copper” as she moved around the herd.
From Catherine:
Hi Jenny, I think one of my biggest realisations through the clinic is that I get caught up in the physical feelings, as in I assume its mine because it is so strong, and then go into thoughts of “oh My god…I have …..!”
It happened again yesterday, I woke up in terrible pain in my bladder area, my abdomen was all swollen, i looked near pregnant! I lay there thinking oh hell, have I got a UTI, have I got a twisted bowel….the thoughts went on and on. I got up and went to the loo, it hurt but not as a UTI would, then went back to bed. I dozed for an hour or so and then got up and I was dreading going to the loo as feared pain…but nothing..the pain had gone, my tummy had gone down!
It was very strange, but it wasn’t till Steve found his mum asleep at her house in the afternoon, but realised she wasn’t okay, as when trying to wake her she was disoriented and was unable to get words out…and raced her in an ambulance to the hospital..they are saying she has a severe UTI !
My point of this is that I didn’t do anything to make the pain go away, but now, after the event, it is a whopping lesson, that I need to not get caught in my reaction to the feeling, but to breathe and go inside and ask the questions. I know this is going to take time, but I feel it was a hard enough slap from the universe to make me see and recognise what I have been doing.
It makes me realise just how strong the different feels are, and how much i block them or suppress them…..
Jenny: What gorgeous validation of your Feel Catherine. I’m looking forward to hearing how you put that to work. As for you saying “how much I block or suppress them” about your different ways of Feeling. It’s a journey sunshine – everything in the clinic has been about having that journey be enjoyable hey? You could also do some reflection on and soaking up that spontaneous healing with Bumblebee.
Catherine again because I checked out how much of this she wanted to share.
Thanks for the reply Jenny and yes to the sharing…kind of freaked me out a little but has made me so much more aware of my feelings.
The ‘not’ getting caught up in my reaction, and going in side to find my response -that’s the bit I struggle with!
Jenny again: Don’t make yourself wrong about your reactions. We have that auto pilot stuff for a reason, its just that what served us well in the past doesn’t always serve us for the future. It’s just another thing to get curious about and because it’s a reaction that happens so fast, we can just get curious afterwards. The curiosity will bring forth the answer and the blocking or struggling will fall away. While I was writing this, I had a vision of me having a reaction and auto pilot going into curiosity and a whole new way of being flowing from it. Woohoo bring it on!
pps. that actually happened a few days later.
From Anna Karin
First of all I have an example over how my feel work.
Today as I was out walking Ludde on the scooter track and we were on our way back home. We were coming closer to a place where we could choose which way to walk. I felt inside myself what the best way would be , and there were no one of them that felt good . I stopped and locked at Ludde and called him to me. I looked straight forward and there were a fox running in front of us. Ludde sat towards me so he never saw it. I had no leash on him so I had him on a good place. After that I knew which way to take.
When it comes to protect my own space to not get overwhelmed, and stay In my own energy I use the white light . I draw a column of white light from the source/ God trough me and down to Mother Earth. And I make this column of white light as broad as I need. When doing this I can hold my own energy and space and also feel when I stake on others feelings or energy. After being exhausted a couple of times, I find that this is way of “protecting” myself is what works for me.
It is easier to feel what is mine and not when I have done this ritual and I am not exhausted of all the energies I meet in a day at school as I was before I did it, or if I miss it. I also ask the Angels to be with me 💕
/Anna-Karin
Jenny: The fox and the dog – what a wonderful practical example of your Feel at work. The white light protection thing is interesting – it’s wonderful that you’ve found a way to look after yourself. I’m thinking that getting curious about it each time you do the white light thing, will bring more and more understanding and end up making protecting yourself unnecessary. As for the angels, I can hear Sandra’s voice from here – you ARE the angels. We are all One…
From Lynda
Thanks for touching base with me after I told you that I didn’t get what I needed out of the clinic – would like to add that I did really enjoy the energy on the skype calls and it was great to see others having breakthroughs.
Wow what an amazing session we had today! Some real “WOW” moments aye, so much that was unexpected, as what I thought was the ‘issue’ was only the symptom ie my slouching/poor posture which has haunted me most of my life.
Well as we discovered, all the slouching was creation energy that was blocked, shut down (which I likened to a shut down horse) I wasn’t showing up in life (hence me deliberating missing some of the clinic skype calls!!!!) I related this back to my mother and things I was carrying for her, and also that I was a burden to her, hence me carrying the monkey on my back.
As the energy started to unravel I had more awareness and felt an aching across my lower back,then had the epiphany that I was aching for love – WOW!
I also recalled being at school at Intermediate and being forced from an average class to the top class due to my grades being so high – I loved the old class I was in and I had to be forced to leave which shut me down from achieving as it felt like a punishment having to leave my comfort zone – a lot of FEAR came up! The world is scary.
So many WOW moments today and all the while you were there Jenny to guide and comfort me, so amazing! Today I learnt to be curious about everything and keep it in lightness, and ask questions – oh and breathe and connect to my heart. It’s ok to be seen and heard, fear is a huge emotion underlying all this as well as anger. I loved that you gave me permission to feel all emotions and not judge them, to be curious about them – to see the creation energy in that anger that has been repressed – so amazing!
After the call I felt the need to get up and walk around and let everything process, and whilst doing that I found myself talking to my mother (in spirit) and asking her to let the 5 year old in her love the 5 year old in me, I asked if we can just love each other and forgive each other and I thanked her for the experience which I acknowledged was for our higher good. It felt like quite a relief to do that. I had been holding the burden of being a burden and carrying that blame for so long. I realised how unhappy she had been and how I had been carrying her misery. Thank you for insight about asking if this is really mine!
So there you go, so many wow moments, a lot more awareness, and permission to just be ME! Thank you, thank you, thankyou. You are so freaking amazing! Big hugs xxx
Lynda xx
Jenny: I’m busting to know how your posture changed physically after you processed the call Lynda. It never ceases to amaze me how much Physical Feel is tied up in emotions. i.e. When the Physical Feel is guiding us to the fears and beliefs that are getting in the way of us creating what we want or changing what we care about.
From Melissa
Hi Jenny.
I’ve been doing a ‘pressure and release’ dance with responding to your request for feedback. I was a newbie in this course and it felt like I was still getting my orientation a lot of the time, not always sure what was appropriate or relevant. Also I had my own frustrations with not having my round pen available to work in, to watch with more specific attention to responses and impact. OK, all that said, I have noticed a distinct change in my interaction with all three of my boys, but specifically, Indigo. He’s the paint horse whose picture I sent. He ALWAYS approaches me when I enter the barnyard or pasture. It seems much of the time he has something to say. I am practicing my open curiosity (well, a lot of the time in general, but especially in these moments with him). It seems like he has so much to say – there’s a whole conversation is going on, but I don’t yet know the language. I also realize that I connect with him more clearly remotely, like in the wee hours from my bed. When I’m near him, there’s a strong emotional hum running and that creates a bit of interference.
What I’ve also noticed is that Indigo seems to hold his ground more now with the other two; it’s not antagonistic or overbearing, just not as quick to yield to their dominance. He still stands alone often, grazing or napping some distance away from them, and interestingly he often positions himself where I can see him from a window. There’s an increase in intensity to our bond, and I’d say that’s the most evident change. I’ve been practicing some Masterson Method techniques getting ready for a workshop. He does the thing at liberty in the pasture, no halter, no lead. The other two require a clearer invitation – halter and lead, and sometimes even tied.
This is what comes to mind. I know there’s a lot that is beneath my conscious awareness. I’m eager to be in the advanced course and see where that takes me/us.
Thanks for all you do for us, for the horses, and for the space between us. I’m continuing to benefit from the posts from all the others in the class – SO much.
See you in class,
Melissa
Jenny: “Pressure and release dance”? 😊 I hope that’s not me applying the pressure! ❤ As usual your posts are gorgeous and prompt much thought. Wonderful about Indigo. I’ve noticed here that the more I did this work, the more herd leaders I had in my herd. At one time in a herd of 8, I had 7 herd leaders. It sounds like Indigo is feeling the confidence to step into that space. Woohoo! I’m very curious to hear how that “strong emotional hum running and that creates a bit of interference” turns out – very curious indeed!
Melissa again:
Ha! That’s funny, Jenny. No, the pressure isn’t coming from your reminders – I appreciate getting them. The pressure is just my reticence to focus and recollect. As I said, I’m not always confident that I’m in sync with what’s going on, both in the class and in my interpretation of the horses’ communication.
The part about the emotional hum is kind of embarrassing really. When I’m out near Indigo, I get that 12-yr-old-girl feeling about him. Then my thoughts kick in about how uninteresting or icky (inappropriate) that is to him. So that’s what I mean by interference… using the metaphor of emotional hum and vibrational interference.
Funny thing happened after I sent the email to you and before I received your email. I read the Happiness 36 message, and spontaneously got choked up and tears flowed… when I got curious about that, I thought, ‘what if these are, in part, Indigo’s emotions and I keep shutting them out, giving the message that his emotions are inappropriate… Well, more curiosity to come. 😊
Thanks again for being in touch. And thank you for your encouragement and kind words about my post.
We’ve got two lovely communications from Steve.
From Steve 1st March after the clinic:
Firstly, I feel happier and calmer with a certain amount of relief. I think this is the calmest I have been as long as I can remember. This has been a super spiritual experience for me. I am currently reading two books, “Marriage Matters” and “Brave by Faith”. Along with recent sermons I have read and heard, I am receiving a great boost from God that is truly exciting.
Some of the things that have really stood out for me:-
- I love the notion that the horses were actually healing us through their ailments and reactions etc.
I am definitely breathing better. As a consequence, I can drop into my comfort zone more readily and are doing it more frequently. - I am able to manage Cru’s head shaking more readily when he is being ridden. The season changing helps this also.
- And I have made the decision to not have my pupils ride him when I would be reluctant under not so pleasant weather conditions. My other horse, Hunter needs to step up into this role.
I hope to continue this new found curiosity about feelings and emotions. And what the horses are wanting to draw my attention too. The curiosity automatically brings a lightness of spirit to the situation.
The big picture – what does God have in mind for me or what does he want me to share, as a consequence.
And last weeks email from Steve:
What I was wanting to say to you is, how much I appreciate your respect for me and my faith. You have been fantastic.
Actually Jen, I was wondering if you would be comfortable with me sharing my testimony? I can keep it very brief as follows:-
Going back 20 years, our youngest son was having psychotic episodes because of drug abuse. Over the course of two years he trashed our house about eight times. I knew I had to do something drastic and I ended up enrolled in a two-year family counselling course. There were many miracles that happened along the way that changed my life monumentally, but the turning point was this: –
I obviously had a number of issues for me to work on, but the major one was materialism. One evening after facing abuse and physical threats as I was standing on our front veranda, I said to God, “it doesn’t matter if the house is burned to the ground, we can live in a tent on this property but I am here for the long haul” from that moment on our son’s life started to turn around and be on the road to recovery. It took a further two years but he is now an air crewman with paramedics and does an amazing job.
I feel this is so what you are helping everybody with, but I totally understand if you don’t wish to use it.
Thanks for the course anyway, it has been super helpful on many fronts.
Love Steve and horses xoxo
From Rowena and Hylie who were listening to the recordings.
Hi Jenny,
Thank you for such an amazing course. You have been so generous with your resources and all the extra links/info you have provided. I only just had time to watch the last session today (3rd attempt).
On one hand, I have realised/discovered so many things and there has been so much change. On the other hand, I feel my learning has been so slow and that I have only taken tiny baby steps. Initially when my beautiful mare Hylie was lame, I felt such resistance, resistance to life and to her situation. Now I can accept the situation, I feel less stressed, and can see the beautiful growth that has occurred within myself as a result of Hylie’s illness – the silver lining.
Though I already knew that I had a victim mentality (at least in some circumstances) and that I am quite self-focused, this was made clearer. I have been reflecting on the word ‘self-determination’ which arose in one of my meditation sessions and realised how helpless I felt in many situations, including in the care of Hylie. I noticed also that I often defer to others, not trusting myself. This is changing and several times at night I have felt a ‘fullness’ deep within me as if all of me were present. I won’t go into the details of this but it was a very significant and poignant sensation/feeling, that indicates to me a huge inner growth. I also realised how little opportunity the horses have for self-determination. We determine so much about their lives, and I am often driven by fear so that I find it hard to listen to them to hear what they want – but they know I am trying.
I have been able to have more time of being present and having inner stillness – a work in progress. There were other things that came to me which at the moment I can’t quite remember. Hylie is up and down and still this week has had her abscesses blow out again but overall, she is getting better. It is hard but I am no longer ‘beside myself’ with stress as I was when I first started the course – so thank you.
Thank you for addressing my question about sensitivity in the last week. I still find it very hard to determine whether my feelings are mine or belong to someone else. Lately, I have been crying, and wake-up feeling down and I have no idea why. I don’t know if this is my ‘stuff’ or someone else’s. Part of me wonders if I am avoiding facing something because I know what the answer will be, or maybe it is just an accumulation of numerous high-stress factors occurring at one time. I remind myself that all problems are an illusion.
I know that I did not put much into the course which was partly due to not being able to attend the sessions. Watching the recordings helped me connect to some degree but it would have been an incredible experience to have participated fully. It is as it is, and maybe I was not ready for the ‘full experience’. Thank you and thank you to all the other participants who shared their stories and insights. I am still in the infant stages of becoming aware of what is possible.
Kind regards,
Rowena Oldfield & Hylie-Dei
Jenny: Wow Rowena! And you managed all that from the recordings – well done you! Narel (on staff) is almost always on recordings and she says she gets it as if she was there too. I’m so glad that apart from being able to be worked with live, that was your experience. You said “I still find it very hard to determine whether my feelings are mine or belong to someone else”. Just be open to the idea that it may or may not be how you are experiencing your connection to someone else and be curious about it and what that feeling means. Then get on with your day and the answer will come in when the time is perfect. You’ll read at the end here how I’ve got a very big deal going on at the moment and am needing to frequently get curious!
You are doing fabulously well. I hope you’re soaking up all that beautiful “I have felt a ‘fullness’ deep within me as if all of me were present” and soaking it and soaking it. How beautiful.
From Kim
One important difference for you to know is that I did not go looking for an article about inflammation and depression. I just happened upon it. Remember on the last call that I said that the way I was getting insights is through information that I just happen upon – from other people, articles, books, etc. Well this is more of the same! Maybe between the article and the UTI, I happened upon some answers.
This section was written the day of and shortly after our last call:
Drowning in shame has been a really big thing for me over the years. It comes up a lot after I have been in a conversation with someone. I am not present, so when I speak, I say things that are not clear (like the koan explanation) and when I have left the conversation, I second guess everything I said. It has been a lot better for quite a while now. I even went to my aunt’s funeral and had conversations with people I haven’t see in twenty years or more and really enjoyed it with no vulnerability hangover, so I can’t say for sure why it was so bad the morning after the call.
I was feeling pretty good and a few days before the call I refilled my pill boxes and went downhill after that. (I fill two weeks at a time.) I realized that what I was feeling was depression. I wasn’t sure if my pill boxes were related, but it was one of the things that came up for me when I got curious about what had changed. I looked at the record I keep of what I put in the boxes, but it was all the same as the last time, except an anti-inflammatory which I had run out of. Nothing that would have caused depression, or so I thought.
Yesterday, I got a UTI that is super uncomfortable. I started taking my Silver Lining Herbs Inflammaid (anti-inflammatory) and Inf-x (infection fighter) to see if I could kick it. That night I couldn’t sleep and was super-depressed, but in a very different way than I ever have been before.
Instead of curling up in a ball and feeling that drowning sensation that makes me want to hide or run away, I just got curious about it. I have been doing ATMs for lengthening my spine and through the whole thing, instead of curling up, I maintained my length and curiosity without any effort. I had all the depressive thoughts – should I quit my job, should we sell the horses, …. but it felt more interesting than agonizing.
The next morning, I still had discomfort from the UTI, so I kept taking my herbal anti-inflammatory and infection fighter. I was surprised to find that I was feeling considerably less depressed. That same afternoon, I happened across an article that explains that they have found that people with treatment resistant depression (which is me) respond well to anti-inflammatories. Years ago, I tried every anti-depressant and none of them helped. Is it possible that the reason I am feeling so well today is because I got a UTI, so I took anti-inflammatories which helps with depression? OR I also discovered one other pill that I had run out of so that could also be it. The great things is that it was not that long ago, that I didn’t have the brain power to keep a log of what I was taking so I never would have known.
The other benefit I have found with this UTI is that I have been using it to become more present. I realized ages ago that I do not know how to deal with discomfort of any kind. I become even more disembodied when I am in pain or discomfort. This UTI has been very uncomfortable whenever I have to urinate and I have to urinate *at least* twenty times a day, so I have lots of opportunities to practice. When I am experiencing the discomfort, I use my Open Focus Dissolving Pain experience:
• To become aware of the expansiveness of the room I am in.
• To imagine the expansiveness of space and to imagine allowing the pain to expand so the particles of the pain are floating in space and expanding to fill the universe.
It has helped me to become more present and to be better at facing the pain instead of hiding from it.
Jenny: Chortle chortle. The gift in a UTI – who woulda thought it! lol! Given I know where you’ve come from I am doing a little dance of celebration here with a whole host of high fives.
More from Kim: Then Kim had a phenomenal breakthrough with her boss at work – with how he reacted to her differently than he had been (which I think was for me because I know the backstory) so I won’t share the whole thing. She said “I love my job when it was good and it is nice having the income since Mark retired, but I finally came to the conclusion that this job is not worth the stress if this is the way it is going to be – not in an angry or defeated way, just a very certain and peaceful decision.”
And “It was so amazing how this went down, because this would have been a *huge and stressful* deal not that long ago. This was not huge or stressful from almost the beginning, I felt peace about all of it. Hooray!!!”
Jenny: Is it COINCIDENCE that Kim is in an entirely different state of mind from the UTI breakthrough and her boss JUST HAPPENS to change his attitude to her? It warms me up from the inside every time I hear about a change in OUR energy, affecting the people around us. We are sooo much more powerful – even now – than we think we are!
From Chris
This clinic was such an amazing experience to share with like-minded people who obviously are willing to do anything to improve life for and with their equine friends. And that common goal brought all of us together in a harmonious blend of many different backgrounds, ideas and experiences, all without the slightest disagreement! Each person’s views seemed to be honored and appreciated for just who they were and where they were coming from. I have such great appreciation for the willingness needed to put some of our most vulnerable and delicate issues “out there” so all could benefit.
The most impressive results of Jenny’s guidance for me came as a result of recognizing/changing the energy within myself, only to see that clearly and immediately reflected in my horses. After years of slowly gaining some trust with “Poppy”, a pretty traumatized Morgan rescue mare (using what I’d felt were just commonsense approaches) we hit gold together. Finding peace within myself regarding a difficult human family situation resulted in a big change in my horse, just as Jenny predicted. Poppy’s body posture is much more relaxed whether humans are around or not, the frequent worry wrinkles above her eyes mostly gone and she’s shown me some big releases. The last several times I was feeding she’d glance in my direction and begin a series of huge yawns and then, as my other very calm and friendly mare watched, she joined in as well.
Also, though I recently made small hoof trimming changes and added MSM to her feed, Poppy’s very enlarged/ossified fetlock area has definitely reduced and the joint alignment improved somewhat. She doesn’t seem a bit lame on it and has begun to weight it more when resting or grazing. Previously she would consistently stand with the other foreleg forward to carry most of the weight, but is now alternating more, and I’m delighted to see such progress. Yet regardless of appearances came the realization that when we open our hearts and minds to a new way of perceiving, situations we saw as problems become healing opportunities, even if not always in the ways we envisioned.
Perhaps my biggest take-away comes from Jenny’s story about her equine guru Bobby communicating that horses forgive our human abuses, and experience greater pain from being so misunderstood. That idea will stay with me forever, and I’m now absolutely dedicated to listening with all my feels, so I’m aware before horses cross from their comfort zone into the “not so sure” place. I’ve become very much more focused on my own inner space and what an absolutely wonderful experience it can be when we give it Priority 1 attention, whether we’re with our horses or not. Very much looking forward to interacting with horses in such a way that we can enjoy whatever we’re doing together, with both their complete permission and cooperation.
Chris McDonald
From Sam
Hi Jenny
I’m thinking I’m one of those couple of people 🙂
I really enjoyed the clinic and am still working out how to remind myself to incorporate some of the lessons I learned into my daily life.
One thing that has changed is that my husband has returned from his work trip and although it’s early days, our relationship has improved merely because I’m being a little curious about why I don’t like conflict. I tended to use other less productive ways to deal with disagreement and nothing was ever resolved so I’m just exploring being more direct. Something you said in one of the clinics resonated when you talked about playing out whole conversations in your head – I’ll say this, then he’ll say that…
Anyway the weather has been crazy and it’s been either high 30’s or mid teens and blowing an arctic gale, so today my day off and some half decent weather have coincided and I’m actually going to spend some time with Jake and do some more pondering.
Many thanks for offering this clinic, I really enjoyed participating.
Sam
Jenny: Lovely to hear from you Sam and yes I was thinking of you and wondering how your clinic went. ❤ I’ve got goosebumps about your relationship improvement, with energy rippling up and down my back. I hope you’re soaking the heck out of that! A big high five – very well done you!
Oriana
Oriana had some family stuff come up in a culmination of everything she’s been doing in the clinic – it’s is about others and way too personal to share, but you’ll be pleased to know that she’s had an incredible breakthrough about anger and creation energy, which sounds like it’s flowing auto pilot through to the horses. She reports that Fred (the nervy chap) is laying down more than usual, which is a sign that he’s feeling more relaxed.
Marisa and Karen
Marisa’s mother got seriously ill and needed her midway through the clinic, so she’s missed out on a lot. She lives pretty much locally and is coming here in a week’s time.
Karen had constant connection problems and thought the clinic would focus more on the hands on work with the horses. She’s going to have a session to help with her clinic goals of her horse’s back problem.
Goldie died
Right up until the very last minute I thought she’d make it. In fact I was tempted to poke her to make sure she wasn’t going to get to her feet. She had looked worse to my eyes the night before and I’d rung Narel Wilson (on staff here sometimes) who is a phenomenal animal communicator and much clearer in conversation than I am, to check in and make sure I wasn’t missing anything because I was getting peacefulness and pleasure in seeing me and she was still enjoying her food and yet she looked worse.
Narel too got a deep sense of peacefulness and that everything was happening perfectly. Our Caroline had her horse Star come in to give me a message that said along the lines of “when you hear to stay away, pay attention, surround her with a bubble of healing energy that she can use as she wants”. I’d also updated Sam (her old owner) the night before, who had checked in with her and was also getting that same peacefulness and an “all is well” message.
In the morning I went out to feed her and she wasn’t there, so with trepidation I went looking, only to see her out there on the far hill grazing with the herd. Smiling I headed in to eat breakfast and I’d feed her later. The other horses came up a little later, so I came out to feed again and Goldie wasn’t with them. I made up her feed and thought “maybe she’s feeling weak after such a big walk, I’ll take it out to her”. I got half way over there and got a very clear “stay away”, so I stopped, surrounded her with Caroline’s Star’s message of the bubble of healing energy, then turned around and came back. I actually thought she was coughing up that lump and didn’t want to be disturbed.
I was in town when I felt her life slip quite clearly, saw a blaze of light and heard the words “THAT’s not the miracle.”
The understanding of the words didn’t come with them like it often does for me and it still hasn’t. I feel curiosity every time Goldie or the thought about those words comes up and I’m quite peaceful that I don’t yet understand the meaning, because I know I will.
Narel too felt her life leave at the same time and Sam had had a blaze of love and a conversation about their journey together from her that morning, about the same time she was telling me to stay away.
Hey Goldie, thanks for everything, specially for such a deeper lesson that I have to look behind what I see with my eyes and I’m glad that we were able to give you the natural death that you wanted and I’m still curious about the meaning of that message.