Among this conversation about Feel and during this session, I’d like to expand a little on the five ways of Feeling our own inner guidance and our connection to others (specially our horses.) See… I talk about the five Feels as if they’re separate, but that’s just to draw your attention to any parts of your own Feel that you might not have noticed. We each experience OUR UNIQUE MIXTURE of those Feels – in any given moment.
Here’s the email from Sue that came with the video below. I’ve also asked Sue if we can talk about this video during our call – I think there’s some great lessons in it about listening with our Feel, not our eyes.
Following on from this morning’s session here is a link to perfection personified, or rather horse ified !
I know he is not supposed to be in the clinic but enter R centre stage! (That’s Reuben folks)
As you know he indicated interest in this healing clinic early on and about the same time a very old wound on his fetlock reopened .I assumed that there was something we hadn’t addressed previously, more to know or do about it , more understanding or letting go for one or both of us . J. also put his hoof up and I decided to use him as my clinic horse and to include R off camera, behind the scenes.
So… we have been ambling along in the background, sometimes he has held space for J or yawned, licked, and chewed along with him, as well J has been observing my sessions with R with interest.
On this day during the pre-session check in with each other I felt some tension and tightness in my buttocks and back of my leg on my left side and it wasn’t mine so went into the session drawn to that area in R.
As you can see, he was happy for me to do some massage and pressure points on his offside but there was quite a definite “no can’t handle that” on the near. We go a little closer to the edge these days so played around with “ can you meet me halfway”? He is always free to say” no “ and leave and he does several times. On this day he was open to exploring with a view to making it feasible.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, when I stood with him after the session, I realised that we had been trying to release the tension in his body for so long and although ok in each moment, right now , this tense body of his was perfection . The tightness wasn’t indicating more to release, or the need for healing , rather drawing my attention towards recognition. I should be applauding and celebrating him the way he is. Recognising and valuing his sensitivity and appreciating his tension.
It is part of him, and he would be less than himself if it was taken away, it is a personality trait to be admired not eliminated . It is one of his strengths in the herd, something the other horses rely on , they feel safe on R’s watch and admire his radar and early warning system, his sensitivity around others is second to none.
In our next session I plan to observe, appreciate, and enjoy ( it is easy for me to find joy these days) his body and mind just as they are, and explore things we can do together to utilise and maybe enhance the tension and sensitivity within him. Of course, that may change too in the moment . Watch this space!
I love horses…… life would be very different without them.
From Adriane
If you’ve listened to the last session, you’ll understand why I was drawn to check in on Adriane. Far out, that was big. Yummy but big. Here’s her reply:
I agree- big session! I’m feeling like this is going to go slowly, at a pace I can handle. Still- I’m experiencing what I can only describe as a shift in perception. Instead of getting into my “hamster wheel of overwhelm” and staying there, when the thoughts and feelings that start the wheel has started, then I cautiously wonder if it’s just possible that there’s a rightness behind it somewhere. No pushing, just a thought of possibility. And I actually feel a shift- mental and energetic- and it feels different- calm and expansive. Not for very long, but the hamster wheel gets short circuited. WooHoo! Looking forward to Thursday/Wednesday!
Me to everyone, including Adriane: Do you get how big a deal this is, that Adriane is developing a comfort zone in the way SHE is working her way through this old minefield. In HER way, the way that she feels most comfortable doing? This is seriously powerful stuff and my heart is filled with woohoos!
Here’s a thought – where’s YOUR Comfort Zone?
And where’s your horse’s Comfort Zone? For 500 kilos of prey animal to work their way through their stuff, to have enough confidence to work their way through stresses and tensions that have been affecting THEIR health, we’re asking them to have a confidence in us similar to the confidence Adriane is developing.
Far out hey?
From Katie
I wanted to share with you…
I am going through a huge shift. In my meditation the past few days I have been crying. I am not someone who cries easily.
Jesus aopeared and supported me through the waves of sadness and grief this morning.
Angels and guides he called in as well. It Was amazing.
The yoga I am doing daily is very deep as well and we were warned would bring up stuff.
As the saying goes, Better out than in.
I think I need time on my own more to be able to move it through and not be judged by myself or anyone else if it looks to be ‘ugly’. It is just energy in huge waves that is moving through me.
When I felt overwhelmed Jesus held both of my hands and told me to let it move through. Very intense and healing.
I am not sure how this relates to Cheyenne yet but I am sure as my cotton socks it will somehow.
From Robin
Oh mannn… just to quote someone 😊
I haven’t had the chance to watch the remainder of the recording from yesterday but the first hour was great. Having more input from Sandra and Caroline is fantastic, being able to see/feel more about how different methods can all lead to the same result makes it SO much easier. I know you keep saying that’s the case but it seems I, and many in the classes, keep trying your way at least most of the time as it’s the blueprint most deeply embedded when trying a new skill. I think it takes either more experience oneself, or watching others do things differently, for it to actually sink in for this little black duck.
If possible, I would like to know where Caroline ended up after feeling into the sausage dog issue. Written form would be fine if you don’t want to revisit it in the last seminar. She obviously felt differently to you and Sandra so it would be great to know how she processed the paradox as cruelty is one of the hardest things for me, and I suspect, many of us to lean into.
Can I ask for more of this type of thing with practical examples and input from the three of you in the future. It makes the concepts more ‘whole’ for me at least.
As you know, I left early to take Boston for a lesson. On the way down to Kyneton it started to blow strongly. I have a lot of baggage about horses and wind and was tempted to just turn around and go home.
We arrived and I unloaded into the wind in an open location with raised dust etc. It’s somewhere Boston has not been without a friend before and he was very unsettled, connecting with him I could feel just how hard he was trying to hold it all together – for me as much as for him.
I decided to just go with the flow and see how we ended up, so I saddled him and headed into the indoor arena which is dark and enclosed with leaves etc. falling on the tin roof. I led him around for a while just allowing him to move and not trying to impose any of my thoughts on how he should be behaving in this situation. If he needed to be anxious then that was fine by me kind of thing.
He did a lot of yawning and licking and chewing and settled pretty well, a little on edge but OK to continue. I then told the instructor, who is a friend and I have had a lot of lessons with with Bud, that I was not even going to attempt getting on and all I wanted was for us to stand, or wander, and chat as I paid attention to him as well. She was fine with this and then we spent the time standing, walking, she set up a few poles in different combinations for him to walk over and around (he has done a fair bit of pole ground work with me so I knew this was right in his comfort zone), lots of breaks in between for him to just stand and relax. He was great and I could feel his relief that nothing more was being asked of him, head low, lots of chewing etc.
I then had to take him back out into the gale, unsaddle and load him. He was very on edge with this but stayed safe and with me, able to trust that I was not going to create more tension.
For me, the biggest thing was my sense of satisfaction that I’d made the best calls in that situation and felt no need to push my insecurities about being a ‘failure’ for not making ‘progress’ in this lesson, which has often pushed me and then the horse into the ‘Oh shit’ zone in the past. And my satisfaction/happiness that he knew I would look after him and do my best to not ask more of him than he could manage which I could see developing over the course of the lesson.
Today we had a great session at home with another step in that increasing sense of connection. Today I felt more happiness in working with him than I have before – even though on paper, as it were, we achieved little today either, just walking and learning to bend softly around corners. Thanks to you and some others who are helping me with some practical skills along the way, I can appreciate just how important all these little sessions are – not to mention how they paid off yesterday!
Hope you have a fantastic day, share this or not as you wish.
Thank you, Robin.
Chris with Poppy
Jenny, this last session was positively awesome for me, and so many of the comments shared by you and participants really helped me regain my balance and way beyond! It feels wonderful to be part of a group awakening into our inherent powers. Just love how many of us are questioning not only what “reality” is, but how our perceptions may completely color/change it, as well as our experience!
Special thanks to Oriana and Caroline for their written contributions of “caring so much we don’t care” and “middle point of the Paradox” respectively. Add to that Adriane’s beautiful story of his experience with Peach and her lameness, when the 11th hour solution arrived just as he surrendered. All of these contributed to an amazing response for me pertaining to my brother-in-law’s terminal cancer diagnosis and resulted in a “lightning bolt” of an alternative treatment that left me high for hours. Now I’m at peace because somehow I felt my part was to just deliver the message and any action (or not) is now completely their decision.
No doubt likely due to my own energy “conversion” my usually-apprehensive Morgan mare has become much more relaxed recently, just as Jenny predicted! Poppy used to be on high alert constantly (even when no humans were around) and now usually stands with her head/neck in line with her back. The last several times I’ve fed she hasn’t approached me beforehand, but stood her ground and began yawning, so that sure is looking like a great release.
A note to Anna-Karin: Like Jenny, I’ve never heard of Mallenders/Sallenders either but am glad no one is agreeing with the “incurable” thought process! Not in any way endorsing the product in this link, but it did have a description of the condition if anyone’s interested. Strangely enough, we have a small short-haired mutt who was constantly licking a few areas of his skin and it developed very similar crusty lesions (so am guessing excessive moisture and possibly bacteria/fungus might be involved). For some reason I decided to put our dogs on fish oil and it completely disappeared in a week or so! I get that we’re not generally looking for physical solutions here, and certainly not suggesting fish oil for horses, but perhaps try feeding something like coconut oil or apply topically? Also consider that keratin is a type of protein in both hair and hoof horn, and “excess” proteins in a horse’s diet are converted into their growth. So can’t help wondering if you might have a look at diet and try decreasing protein sources/content, assuming your horse has healthy hooves?
Click here for the link Chris sent
Me to Chris: I must not be giving the complete picture, smiling here… I’m not only ok with coming up with practical things, I’m thrilled when it comes up – specially with an ahhaa and /or feeling of excitement or inner peace. It’s just that I always have my eye on the big picture as well, so that the root cause is being attended to as well – INCLUDING we all being able to step into our own creative power. So thanks for your contribution dear Chris!
In Australia some of us do feed horses fish oil. There was a brilliant English lady revolutionised animal care here in AUS, by mineralising everybody. Seaweed, dolimite for calium and magnesium, sometimes extra magnesium, sulphur, copper, apple cider vinegar, cod liver oil (vitamin D and A if I remember rightly?), and sometimes a tiny pinch of Borax if they were a bit arthritic. Her book is called Natural Horse Care and her name is Pat Coleby. Incredible old lady, as cranky as a bat but brilliant – I’ve got some funny stories about my interactions with her! Other countries will have different requirements to us here, but it’s worth having a feel into her minerals.
And I am THRILLED at your feeling into and getting “the lightning bolt of the alternative treatment that left you feeling high for hours”. I’d specially like to point out the incredible sense of RIGHTNESS that you felt when you passed that on AND this bit is especially important “Now I’m at peace because somehow I felt my part was to just deliver the message and any action (or not) is now completely their decision.”
Woohoo!
From Kelly
I had a good session with Willow last week, the day after our Monday/Tuesday Clinic. I was able, with the assistance of the submissive mare, Poppy, to calm Willow’s urge to step away as I approached. Then Willow chose to position herself to be haltered. That was an improvement for sure. I left the “needy”, “clingy” mare, Poppy, loose in the pen and took Willow and the old girls out. Poppy handled that, free to move situation, MUCH better than when she was tied up. She called a bit and after about half an hour Willow called for her.
I was able to do more of the somatic exercises that I had tried earlier, and Willow responded well. Then I felt it advisable to just rub and scratch and hug (this is not something I do normally) Willow. We just hung out together. When she called for her friend, I took her back so they could nuzzle each other (well, at least Poppy wanted to touch Willow). At the end of our session, I gave Willowr oats, as we always do when they are worked, albeit not as much as when ridden. I returned Willow to her friend, and she seemed less hurried in her departure.
I had a very bad time downloading the Thursday clinic, eventually, after asking Google for an alternative method, I got it on my computer. I was struck by the sense that not only I, but many of the other participants are healing themselves, more than their animals. That was reiterated today in the conversations where there was less talk of animals and way more about healing the human psyche.
I believe that I have accomplished what I set out to do in establishing trust between Willow and myself. I’ve concluded, “it ain’t no biggie”, in regard to my original goal. However, I have been made aware of how much joy and contentment I have in my life. I believe that someone said today, that you make an excellent teacher, because you faced so many challenges and still have challenges to overcome. I believe, that while I am empathetic, I have been so blessed with a wonderful life, I find it hard to understand those who have truly struggled. Today’s discussion will help me to revamp my assessment of folks who have faced horrific challenges. I shall no longer view them as victims. I must learn to take that word out of my vocabulary and replace it with …. Survivors?
You urged us to go visit our horses and see if they had a “message” for us. The geldings were down to the pen for water, so I visited with them as opposed to visiting with the mares. I asked each, if he minded me touching him. Only one flat out refused and walked away. Earlier I had seen him cuddling with my volunteer, so perhaps he’d had his fill of humanity for today. All the other geldings were willing to have me touch, scratch and hang out with them.
My little fellow, Tex, came right over, I think he was glad to see me and get some affection from me. We agreed that I should stand between the rest of the herd and Tex, so that no bully would push him away. Later after I had done the rounds of all the other fellows, Tex returned to me, until there was some upheaval about who could stand next to whoever else. Since Tex is the smallest and not a dominant, he ends up at the bottom of the pecking order. I did tell the rest of the boys that they had to stop and not act like bullies. They all hastily complied when faced with an upset human.
One thing that I shall continue to be open to, is receiving a more “mental feel” message from the animals. I have long been able to send messages to animals and generally those messages are received loud and clear. I can frequently send a cow to her calf or the pen by simply sending “pictures”. It’s handy when you are the only one handling the animals. But other than my instinctive “reading” of animals, I am not aware of “messages” that they send my way. Perhaps I need to find a new radio wavelength to tune into those messages. I shall continue to be curious about what that wavelength could be.
I shall nap on Wednesday so I can join you in the middle of the night Wed/Thur for the last session of the Clinic. I look forward to hearing what others have seen and felt as they went through the last 3 weeks with all this tremendous energy flowing around us. {Again today, I did my best to help with the unified field, that I believe helps to give us the energy to flow to the heart of the paradox).
See you shortly, Kelly
Me: Remind me – i.e. I’ve made a note, but make sure you get your hand up for me to work with you to explore ALL the aspects of your unique way of feeling your connection to your horses.
From Catherine
This morning was such a good session and something that I needed at this time. I have been struggling with getting ‘what I need to know or do about all this ‘
I feel like I have opened something like an old vault inside me, I feel there is something in there that I need to find…. maybe the real ‘I am”….just trying to sit with it as feels very different.
I do not know whether you remember but in one of the clinics, I worked with Sandy on attaining my goal with ease- mine was buying a horse float and travelling to smaller rural towns to teach art workshops. All was going well; I had done my homework and found a very reputable horse float manufacturer that had been around for 20 years and the resale on their floats was great because of their reputation. $30k deposit for it to be placed in the queue, and a nine month wait to begin its manufacture. It was supposed to begin in July/August 22 but the week before I got the heart-breaking news that they had gone into receivership!
You can imagine my first reaction, I was gutted, and devasted, angry, sad and fearful as I only had money for the float, no more stashed away. In hindsight, when I went to deposit the money, I felt sick to the stomach, but because of their reputation… I brushed it off…. silly me!
One day I just sat with the horses, went into a quiet mind, and put the intention out there to understand why this had happened.
I felt the owner’s anguish, they had made terrible business choices on the recommendation of the business coaches they hired at great cost. I had no hate for them anymore, nor sympathy…it was more of an understanding of their side of the situation.
What I felt was that the time was not right for me, and I needed more time to practice my teaching while I searched for another float that would suit what I needed. The idea of the float is so I have my accommodation with me, as a lot of the towns do not have motels, etc. plus I can fit all the equipment and materials in there to take out for the workshops.
While I sat, I became so calm, I wasn’t angry or bitter anymore. I suddenly felt energized, and I began to focus on the future and not what I had lost. I found another manufacturer, the only problem was that during this time of all this happening, the price of steel had gone through the roof, as did nearly everything else! So, the price has gone up by $20k for a similar sized float, and it is unlikely I will get any money back from my deposit.
So, I sat with this and went into a quiet mind, what do I need to know or do- and BAM- got the strongest vision of sponsors labels on the back and sides of the float. Oh Jenny, my family could not believe my calmness and new look on this whole event.
In my mind’s eye it’s like “It is what it is, and no amount of worry or reaction is going to change it”. So, I have moved on, feeling calm and incredibly positive that I will succeed in my goal to teach in rural towns.
So, while listening this morning I realised that I found the rightness behind the wrongness, as I am teaching workshops and have more to offer this time around, the timing feels good.
But the other rightness I realised this morning is that it also gives me the time with Bumblebee, to make our connection stronger and get back into riding.
As for the feeling… the vault, I am still sitting, it’s in my heart area and I think it has to do with me getting over my fear that stops me from doing with BB.
I loved listening to you Jenny, to Caro and to Sandy…. very enlightening to hear the conversation and different viewpoints… everyone is so different!
Me: That is EXACTLY the point we three are making – we are ALL so UTTERLY individual. You, me, Caroline, Sandy, every person on the course – all utterly unique in our both our journey and our inner awareness. That, folks, is the key to everything…
Re the vault – are you able to look with curiosity at the vault every time it comes into your mind?
From Jan
Hi Jenny, That was an AMAZING session.
The most amazing thing about it was that I was brave enough to speak up and say something. Once upon a time I would have second guessed myself and said nothing or written an email.
The 2nd amazing thing was when Adrianne was speaking. I felt all this emotion welling up inside me, then I got this feeling of enormous privilege. I felt privileged to be able to help her deal with such a huge trauma, even if the help I could give was only in a small way.
love Jan
Me: I’m sooo pleased for you. ❤ I’m not so sure that it is such a small way though. I “see” that when each of us plays our part, that IS our perfect contribution hey?
From Steve:
17/02/2023
Earlier consideration in this course, was to think of my past horses, to the time of Skye and Bart.
But I actually went way back. They brought me a lot of joy but also a great sense of loss.
I have had connections with over 40 horses.
Put down 10 = 25%
Deaths 4 = 10%
Sold 13 = 32.5%
Sent to market 3 = 7.5%
Gave away 3 = 7.5%
Alive with me 3 = 7.5%
Not mine 4 = 10%
So, it is not surprising that I have this sense of loss. This applies to the numerous people in my life who have died. A number of them have been suicide, including the loss of a 25 year old girl last year, who came to me in 2021.
Interesting that I have said a number of times over the years, that I grieved the loss of my Dad, for about 20 years. A sense of this, is that I feel I failed to love him as much as I could have.
The rightness of this is that I have made a significant effort to thank individual people for being part of my life. That was the major driving force behind my long thank-you speech at my 70th birthday. I am seriously sentimental and nostalgic, and happy to live in the past.
Assignment questions from 16/03/2023
1. What do I feel when Cru shakes his head?
Frustration (unintentionally being angry and to heed my own words, that is, with God.) at not being able to find a way to alleviate the demonstrated pain and violent, involuntary, movement. Despair. Anxiety at the possible demise of a premature end to his life when he has so much to give. Fear. It can also be quite dangerous.
It is apparent to me that all the negative stuff above, is unhelpful and detrimental. A self-fulfilling prophecy. No horse would want to be around me in this state of mind. So actually, the best thing I can do for him is to hold space for him, send him my heartfelt energy to him. Continue to follow the threads to find something that eases his trauma.
Me: Have you tried observing that “negative stuff” and allowing the message of it to flow into your mind. You can meditate on it if that feels comfortable, or you can simply go inwards and make a considered and deliberate decision to understand those feelings. “Whose are they? What do you need to know or do about them?” Soft eyes, not trying to get the answer, seeing if you can simply feel curious about the questions themselves.
2. What else sets off the same feeling in me?
Pretty much whenever any of my horses are in trouble or pain.
My tears, which very readily come, seem to flow most of all, when I am being empathetic for pretty much any person, who is struggling in some way or distressed.
Me: I rest my case, as above. Picture me standing in my paddock with my hands on my hips calling out “Steve! It’s not all yours! Whose is it and what do you need to know or do for or about them?” Big hugs!
3. Is it true that he will have ups and downs?
We all have mood swings, so it is reasonable for him to do so also. It is the seasonal change into the hotter weather that brings on the head shaking. In the reaining parof the year it is not evident.
I could consider asking the question – Is it mine or his, on any given day? (Me: see, if I’d waited, I would have seen that you’ve answered that yourself! 🙂 ) I do try to take my appreciation with me to the horses. I have noted formerly that I can easily lose it in less than 20m as I leave the house. Seeking my comfort zone around this could be helpful. I have a tendency to rush life and not soak it up.
4. Will it be possible for him to fully recover or will it take longer or will he have ups and downs?
Always possible to have an immediate transformation.
It may take longer because of being deep seated and habitual.
See initial response in 3 above.
From Sandra who’s always looking farther out into the Big Picture.
Is looking at Cru’s head shaking as “wrong”, the same as your arguing with God?