
You know you’re getting old when you’re in hospital and the doctor asks you if you want to be resuscitated. “Don’t read anything more into this than it is” she said, “it’s just a box I have to tick.”
Merv had a small stroke yesterday. Now don’t read into THAT any more than it is either! He was back to baseline measurements by the end of the day, with some stuff better than his age and I brought him home this afternoon. This is the same man featured in two of my “tales of impossible healing” on my blog, so that gives you an idea of the man.
Merv was shocked speechless at the question and after a short time of me in the same state, I couldn’t stop laughing at the ridiculousness of it. By the time they were asking that question, the test results had come back and they could find no signs of a brain bleed in either the cat scan or blood tests. 97% of his symptoms had melted away and you had to look hard to find the tiny ones that were left. After giving Merv a lonnnggg pause to answer for himself and by then starting to feel a bit weird about my still laughing, I piped up with “(expletive) yes!” which made them all laugh and broke the shocked silence.
I couldn’t believe they’d even asked a well man that question. I actually said to the kids later “Is this a weird way of reducing the population?”
HOWEVER, when I got home I meditated to get rid of the remnants of the fright I’d experienced earlier in the day, I came up with some different thoughts.
What if he’d been in full blown stroke past the time for the miracle stroke drugs to work, with years of debilitation and maybe worse? Would he want to be resuscitated then? Not everyone’s got a wife who can access the paradox of healing for miracles. (So can you too, just saying… how to do that is one of the subjects in my new book.) It’s a valid question to ask people their wishes and a useful, if slightly morbid question to think about ahead of time.
The problem is though, that most people are reacting to that resuscitation question from a fear of death and the unknown. I’ve seen where we go at our death and when it’s my time (and not before, thanks) bring it on. I experienced it as a cross between a sound and a vibration and the most intense feeling of joy.
My experience and what other people believe is of no use to us when the crap hits the fan in our own lives. That’s why I ask clients and students and readers to think about things like “What do you believe happens to the essence of us when we die?” Not to come up with an intellectual answer, but to allow the truth of it to come up from the inside of them so it becomes a foundation of deep confidence in what really happens.
It’s a thing worth doing. I’ve worked with a lot of people who have been grieving over the years and when we’ve gone looking at their grief from a “what’s the truth?” point of view, every single one of them has experienced some sort of connection with the person or animal who had died – a connection that released the intensity of the grief dramatically.
At one end of the scale was the young woman in New Zealand who’d just lost her father who heard his voice in her mind for just a second or two of intense relief “I’m all right sweetheart”, to others who experienced a longer lasting connection and others who felt / heard/ experienced a moment of connection that brought understanding about what happened when that person or animal died, that released them from their guilt and changed their grief.
Those stories can inspire you, but again, I’ve noticed inspiration alone doesn’t help when it’s you or your loved one who’s actually going through something that feels crappy.
So my purpose of this post is to suggest that ahead of time is a great time to getting rid of the fear of death by asking ourselves our own truth about these questions:
“What happens to us when we die? We know what happens to the body, but what happens to our mind, our spirit, our consciousness and our life force after death?” If you get curious about that and allow the answer to come up from the inside of you, however long that takes, it will give you a foundation of confidence about what really happens after death.
As for Merv and I, he’s already home with no symptoms for more than a day. This is an opportunity for he and I both to look at what we’re creating now, an opportunity to re-evaluate what’s important to us, what we’d like to change and how to get that to happen.
Now let’s bring THAT on…
Photo: The dearest man.
Wow, that would have been a shock. I’m glad that Merv is OK and home again. The DNR question is one everyone should think about and let their immediate family/friends know their choice. It is surreal that your blog is in my email inbox and, this morning, I started to think about some of the things you’ve written before I’ve checked my email. I’ve had a family member on my mind though and I know their choice.
Funny the timing of things hey. <3
Here’s hoping ‘the man’ continues for a very long time. and doesnt give you anymore nasty shocks.
From your mouth to his ear mary!