Oliver’s natural bravery had a tendency to get him into trouble. In fact, I strongly suspect that it was behind the terrifying floating accident that he had not long before he came to me, where he pulled back in the float, snapped the lead rope clasp, turned that giant 18 hand body around and was berserkedly trying to come out the back of the float. I shudder at the thought!
The very first time I went to lead him through the gate into the feeding area, I felt a Not Quite Right that was clearly Oliver feeling not OK about coming through the gate – for whatever reason – and yet he was coming through quite boldly anyway.
Crikey I said to myself! as I stopped him coming through the gateway, turned around and took him back to his Comfort Zone in the bigger yard. (I am laughing at myself as I write the “crikey! 🙂 but it was SUCH a surprise to watch a horse who was doing a simple task – walking through a gateway – doing it perfectly well and yet was feeling so very much NOT OK about it.)
While I was waiting for him to lick and chew, we had this conversation about bravery.
There will be LOTS of times in your life that I will be looking for you to be brave and it is a wonderful thing to be brave, but a simple thing like coming through a gateway – I don’t want you to be using up your bravery on a routine thing like coming through a gate.
I don’t want your bravery bucket to be empty when you get to a big jump or a kangaroo jumps out from behind a tree when we’re out in the bush and I’m telling you it’s nothing to be afraid of.
I remember there being a real feeling of appreciation for his bravery even while I was having this conversation. Bless him for his bravery!
The Lesson
The lesson here is about listening to your Not Quite Right – even if everything looks OK.
It was an important lesson for Oliver, because I am convinced this bravery caused him all kinds of trouble, including the very big floating accident he had a few weeks before he came here. This bravery thing was behind his old owner’s belief that he “had a screw loose” – that he was crazy – because he tended to LOOK as if he was OK. He was doing whatever it was, looking like he was perfectly OK (in her example loading in the float) and yet underneath all that he was a scared inexperienced baby who actually needed support of some sort, or explanation or whatever.
So some minor thing happened in the float that day, maybe she braked a little hard when a car pulled out in front of her or maybe a fly landed on his nose and he tossed his head and hit the roof of the float – whatever – it doesn’t take much when they’re already way out in the Not Too Sure Zone and the next thing he’s gone beserk in the float, broken free, managed to get that giant 18 hand body turned around and he’s panic stricken trying to come out the back.
I can only imagine her terror too!
And all because he was brave and his bravery bucket was empty.
The Technique
The technique that first day at the gate was simple. I felt the Not Quite Right as I was heading towards the gate – I understood what it was about straight away and thus was able to turn around, walk away from the gate until he was in his Comfort Zone and had that conversation about bravery while I waited for him to RELEASE whatever was going on and Chew.
There’s a balance here that you want to be mindful of too. Because we don’t want to stop him from trying either and we need to be CLEAR about what we want him to do and yet allow him to tell us that he is scared or confused. You’ll see a bit more of that in an upcoming lesson about leading, which was another big minefield where we actually stepped over the line and taught him NOT to lead and then had to go back and fix that.
You’ll know which course of action to take in any given moment with your own horse, as you work with your Inner Guidance system. Whatever it is that you are doing, keep working as things are feeling good, use your Not Quite Rights as the signal that you have to change something. Stop and back off if you don’t have the answer flow to you in the moment, then drop into your Quiet Mind breathing and allow the answer to flow.
And if the answer doesn’t flow in a Quiet Mind, think of all the support that you have access to – the forum, question time in the Live Seminars, access to Private Sessions if something feels too big – whatever action you need to take to find the information or insight that you need.
And it can be simple. Just decide that you want the answer – then be open to noticing the answer as the answer bubbles up from the inside of you for the information you need or you’ll be guided to a course of action or some kind of “coincidence” will pop up with the information.
The Healing
Oliver developed a new level of relaxation and well-being as he realized that I really did want him to feel good, to be and feel confident and happy and then the RELEASE that he did while I was waiting for The Chew after taking him away from the gate, was translated into another layer of physical healing.
The forum
The forum is where we have the opportunity to turn Oliver’s Diary into an interactive learning experience. So please come in and contribute!
Click here to go to the discussion of this lesson on the forum
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Up Next
In your next lesson, we first look at how you can get a deeper understanding of the what, why and when to go with the flow and when to stand firm in what you want. Then you’ll learn a new tool to get you and your horse’s best answer from your own subconscious when your horse isn’t doing what you want them to do.