Happiness IS the Truth
and the Truth IS Happiness.
Happiness comes from understanding the Truth of our connection to ourselves AND OTHERS.
It’s a fact of life that we sometimes feel other people’s feelings and this natural connectedness of all of us, is a natural part of life itself. If you haven’t come across this before, then come on in to a Live Event and see how understanding that changes people’s lives. Registration to my blog (or anything else) will get you the emails that notify of live events – some of which are free.
Sometimes we feel other people’s feelings so intensely that it just doesn’t occur to us that they’re not our own. This is incredibly important – the intensity of the feelings is not what makes it yours – the intensity simply comes from not listening / not understanding / not knowing how to deal with the feelings – each ignored feeling adds on to the intensity of the next.
There’s a reason to be feeling someone’s feelings. It’s our Inner Guidance system at work – we feel other people’s feelings when there is something for us to know or do FOR OR ABOUT THEM.
Some people will go through life just occasionally feeling other people’s feelings here and there – usually the people they’re close to. Other people are more sensitive, because they have more to know or do for or about about others as part of their life path and what they are manifesting.
When we ignore that connection with others, when we ignore the feelings that we are picking up from them, then conflict happens.
The phenomenon of Escalating Upsets
How our unspoken stuff becomes someone else’s reality and how to change that.
This story is out of my book Pathway to Heaven on Earth. It’s a story about the conflict that happens when we don’t pay attention to these feelings that come from our connection to others.
This is the situation that led me to realize how not listening to the messages from our soul in our interaction with someone else, can escalate over and over again into actual conflict. In fact, this situation, coming so soon after the other stories here, led me to realize that peace on earth in our lifetimes was possible.
This insight came when Fred was telling me about a lady friend who was ringing him for advice about a horse that she was really frustrated with.
This lady’s horse was giving her grief in such a way that Fred could see the ugly progression that was likely to happen to the horse. Sold off as unmanageable, going through the sales a few times, maybe lucky enough to be bought by someone who knows how to fix what’s going wrong, but most likely to end up in a can of dog food eventually. That’s what happens to most problem horses.
So, here he is, listening to her, trying to be encouraging about the things that sound OK, because that’s the kind of person Fred is and wants to be, someone who is kind and encouraging. But underneath, Fred is thinking “bloody hell, why don’t you just do it properly? I’ve explained that Jenny’s clinics train you to connect with your horse in such a way that problems like these are easily overcome. Why don’t you just come and do a clinic with Jenny and sort it out? And why the bloody hell do you ring me for advice and then never take it? It makes me so frustrated!”
As Fred was talking, I got a clear vision of what was happening.
Fred was saying a bunch of nice words with his mouth, but underneath there was a whole bunch of frustrated and angry thoughts.
His lady friend was sensing these unspoken angry emotions AS IF THEY WERE HER OWN. She was already frustrated and angry with her horse and then she added Fred’s unspoken anger and frustration to hers and then she felt reee…ally angry and frustrated. And when she didn’t do anything about her feelings of anger and frustration either, then Fred sensed those unspoken / un-acted on feelings AS IF THEY WERE FRED’S OWN and then they escalated what FRED was already feeling.
And the escalation of what was originally a minor upset, kept happening until they both got off the phone having had a very unsatisfying phone call (that’s the classic Aussie understatement!), both cross with each other and neither understanding what just happened – because neither of them understood the impact of their unspoken thoughts and un-acted on feelings on the other person.
No way was this lady ever going to be able to take Fred’s advice under those circumstances – she was too busy defending herself against the yucky feelings that she was experiencing that were Fred’s unspoken criticism. And then she got off the phone totally unaware of why she was resisting Fred’s advice.
As I understood this, I could see how people could actually come to blows about these escalating upsets. Wow. And then to see how world leaders came to wars the same way …
… And to see how we can truly have peace on earth in our lifetime…
Here’s a picture of what that looks like. Read from the bottom left and follow the arrows.
So… does that mean that the best result is Fred spouting off about what he thinks? Errr … no… That would probably make his friend very defensive and produce the opposite result to what Fred is trying to do.
FIRST Fred needs to know what to know or do for his friend that he wants to be the best friend to. He needs to get out of his head (where all his old reactions and judgements are, even maybe his own old traumas, maybe even SOMEONE ELSE’s old traumas) and get into his heart – into his Internal Guidance system.
It takes just ONE of the parties in an upset, to drop into being Present, to go into their Inner Awareness, to get their Inner Guidance about what’s REALLY going on here and pfft! that’s the sound of YOUR END of the upset just over – that’s the ESCALATION over. The other person is still doing their stuff, but we’re no longer adding to it – in fact we can be actively Holding Space for them to find their perfect solution.
I KNOW when I’ve come up with the right answer, because I can feel my heart chakra flowing, with an expansive sense of rightness that can occasionally be so big that I’m laughing and crying at the same time. Other people will experience their sense of rightness in their own way.
Now I’m not going to kid you – it has taken me a bit of practice to get really good at this. Often it used to be that I would notice the escalation AFTER the event and have to look for understanding after I had calmed down. Remember that not knowing how to deal with my anger was my own personal very big deal. 🙂 Each time I got an expansive feeling insight, I was another layer closer to dealing with things more effectively in the moment. And although I still stuff it up occasionally ( I’m not due for sainthood yet!) I deal with many, many things in the moment these days.
Here’s a treat for a bit of lightness of spirit.
And here”s the words if you like to sing along.
It might seem crazy what I’m ’bout to say
Sunshine she’s here, you can take a break
I’m a hot air balloon that could go to space
With the air, like I don’t care baby by the way
Huh, because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do
Here come bad news, talking this and that
(Yeah) Well, give me all you got, and don’t hold it back
(Yeah) Well, I should probably warn you I’ll be just fine
(Yeah) No offense to you, don’t waste your time
Here’s why
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do
Hey, come on, uh
Bring me down, can’t nuthin’ (happy)
Bring me down
My level is too high to bring me down (happy)
Can’t nuthin’, bring me down (happy)
I said, let me tell you now, unh (happy)
Bring me down, can’t nuthin’, bring me down (happy, happy, happy)
My level is too high to bring me down (happy, happy, happy)
Can’t nuthin’ bring me down (happy, happy, happy)
I said
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do
Come on, unh bring me down can’t nuthin’ (happy, happy, happy)
Bring me down my level is too high (happy, happy, happy)
Bring me down can’t nuthin’ (happy, happy, happy)
Bring me down, I said
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you, eh eh eh
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you, eh hey
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do, heh come on
Songwriters: Pharrell L Williams
Happy lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group