Within the light is the seed of the dark and within the dark is the seed of the light and without one, the other could not know of its own existence.
In our desire to deepen the bond with our horse and to be brilliant with them, how do we know when to be soft and gentle, when to be more firm, when it’s OK to insist on something and when it’s not?
Yin and Yang is an oriental concept that was like a light bulb going on for me. It helped me better understand about BALANCE in my relationship with my horses and that balance is what helps me figure out the answers to these questions.
“Yin – Yang” is a phrase that is related to the realization that the world, and everything in the universe for that matter, is in balance.
And each of these could not even exist without the other – in Yin Yang theory, for everything, there is an equal and opposite that has the capacity to bring BALANCE.
This Lesson is about how that relates so usefully to your relationship with your horse. I’d love to hear from you about what imaginative things came up for you and your horse from this Lesson!
Written Version of the Audio
Hmmm, equal and opposite. How many of us have come to the realization that life is not always black and white? You can see in the picture of the yin yang symbol, how within the light, is a seed of dark. Within the dark, is a seed of light. Without dark it is impossible to even HAVE light. For ALL of these opposites, it is impossible to have one without the other.
I came to see that it is the same for relationships. The best possible relationship with our horse is about BALANCE.
Now, this bit is important. For MY horses at least, there had not been much balance in our relationship – it used to be all about “do what I say and do it now and how can I get that to happen?” and I didn’t have much, if any consideration for my horse’s point of view. I am afraid that it was all about ME.
Well I didn’t produce a happy horse like that and I can’t imagine anyone else would either.
The first and most important thing we have already talked a lot about already – and that is to eliminate fear from the relationship. But once we have no fear, it is about BALANCE.
So what does that mean in my day to day life with my horse?
Well, if our relationship had been a demanding one, then at the beginning of this course, I may have to balance that with LOTS of being with them and doing nothing else. Maybe doing some mirroring like in the mirroring game in the last Lesson, maybe grazing them on some nice grass on a lead if those circumstances were safe and right – whatever my imagination can come up with.
The opposite is possible too, although this situation is much more uncommon. If our relationship has been all for the horse, with no consideration for the person at all, then that situation too can be looking for balance to be happy.
Well these days, if things aren’t going the way I would like them to, I ask “what’s in it for my horse?” and if they are not afraid, then the answer invariably has some aspect of Yin and Yang theory – something that needs to be brought into balance.
So what are some opposites that we can think about that bring balance to our relationship with our horse?
What about being able to either walk in and give your horse a treat or walk in and not give them a treat and have your horse able to be polite about both options?
What about having your horse politely stand back while you are feeding them, like in The Sixth Key to Happiness with Your Horse – that could be a balance to just hanging out with them.
What about balancing learning new stuff with spending undemanding time just hanging out with them? Or you doing what they want to do, like you did in the last lesson mirror game? Your next lesson – an advanced version of the mirror game, does a great job of starting to do that – you are going to love the way this adds to the balance in your relationship.
And every relationship is different – what is balance for me may not be balance for you.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to notice HOW you can bring balance into your relationship with your horse. It’s to notice ALL the different ways in which you could bring balance back into your relationship and how to get imaginative about that.
The next time you get a Not Quite Right – back off and check whether your horse is afraid and take action to help them feel safe – that’s always the first priority.
But if they are not afraid – look for an opposite kind of thing that you can do, look for what you can change, look for the thing that will bring in the BALANCE.
Have fun exploring that! And see you in a few days…
Is the next step to getting your horse in the habit of being happy to do what you ask them to do.