Yes I hear you… haltering!? You thought you were learning world class horsemanship stuff in this Program and I am teaching you HALTERING…
Well that’s because world class horsemanship comes from paying attention to the details.
The world class horsemanship that I am bringing to you comes from following the good feeling feelings , paying attention to and taking action on EVERY Not Quite Right so that you and your horse can be deeply happy and supremely confident with each other – THAT is what will cut through years of training with your horse and fast track your horse to be the incredible partner that you are looking for.
Getting a halter put on can be one of the biggies for our horse, for all kinds of reasons. Not the least of which is that so many not so nice things have happened in a halter – they are much more at our mercy once that halter goes on – and they have much less control over what happens to them – we saw that in the last smooth hands lesson. Plus, their first experience of haltering was often traumatic, with their fear reactions being misunderstood. No wonder so many horses have huge Not Quite Right’s about haltering.
Following the small baby steps of the audio lesson below will be the stress point that gives many horses the opportunity to break through from a simple Comfort Zone, into actual joyfulness. (NOTE: the audio follows the short demonstration video below.)
The Release, Re-learn, Re-program Process
There are three stages to this all important process (and many other “lessons”) with your horse:
1. RELEASE is about releasing old resistance and trauma – this requires stopping when you feel that something is Not Quite Right, backing off in whatever way you can and waiting for The Chew while your horse processes that. Haltering has caused SO MANY horses upsets, that this is a very important release to help them with.
Sometimes it feels like watching paint dry when you are waiting for The Chew because it can take a long time. It is however the most effective time you will ever spend with your horse in terms of Fast Tracking them to be the extraordinary partner that they can be because when it is released, that layer is permanently gone.
Hint: When we stay in that gentle feeling inside ourselves place, with gentle attention on our breath and our heartbeat and whatever other feelings we have going on inside our body, the time spent waiting for The Chew can be dramatically less.
Second hint: Don’t forget to soak up the good feelings that happen after the lick and chew.
Third hint: the Relearn stage is very often not appropriate on the same day.
2. RE-LEARN – once the trauma has been released your horse goes into the Learning Stage. Again you are using any Not Quite Right to know when to back off and allow your horse to go slow enough to learn at the perfect pace for THEM.
They’ve just released a trauma and they probably don’t know how to do this task without trauma and tension, so think of them like a baby horse. Baby steps are a big key in the RELEARNING stage – breaking things down into small bite size pieces that are easy to understand. The Chew should come faster in this stage but keep in mind, some horses have to create a Comfort Zone with learning itself so the more patient you are here, the faster they will learn in the future.
Hint: Did you hear what I just said? That horses can actually learn in their Comfort Zone with curiosity and even looking forward to that learning? Woohooo how exciting will THAT be!
3. RE-PROGRAM – once the Learning Stage has been completed you can help your horse to put this new learning into their auto pilot reactions when they hit their “Oh Shit” Zone. Repeating the re-learning stage is necessary sometimes to RE-PROGRAM but the BIGGEST KEY BY FAR TO RE-PROGRAMMING is taking lots and lots of time to soak up and enjoy the yummy feelings that arise at any of these three stages.
Paying attention to and taking the time to enjoy the variety of good feelings that will arise as you help your horse find their Comfort Zone, IS what will anchor those good feelings. It IS what will RE-PROGRAM the good stuff into your horse’s muscle memory and Oh My Goodness that is going to Fast Track you both like you wouldn’t believe right now…
If you miss bits and pieces of what I say please do not miss the Keys to Success of this RELEASE, RE-LEARN and RE-PROGRAM formula.
Keys to Success
1. Follow your feel good feelings, notice and take action on your Not Quite Right- at this stage of your learning that means stop what you’re doing and take steps backwards until you feel OK. If you have to back away, take the halter off first PLEASE!
2. Not Quite Right includes ALL the ways in which you Feel your connection to your horse – any yucky feeling emotions, your breathing getting tight or faster, your heart rate speeding up, tension, discomfort or pains that you “suddenly” experience, any worries or any so called “negative” thoughts that pop into your mind. I say “so called negative” because none of these yucky feelings and worries are negative at all – they are simple guidance that is as valuable, maybe even MORE valuable than the feel good feelings, because they’re guiding you to the change that will bring you what you’re looking for. And they disappear the instant you understand and take the right action.
Hint: That paragraph contains several life changing concepts that are worth reading again and re=-reading even after that. See if you can pick the four life changing concepts in there!
2. Keep going if you feel good and back off at that Not Quite Right (literally stop what you are doing, take the halter off if necessary and take a few steps backwards at this stage of your learning how to use Not Quite Right for change. Yeah I know I said that before but it’s important! The need to back away will change later.)
3. Wait for The Chew no matter how long it takes – NO MATTER HOW LONG it takes. If it takes a long time, it’s because there’s Releasing happening there. 🙂
4. Be prepared to go slowly and break it down into bite size pieces if necessary – with an incredibly strong connection it isn’t always necessary to break it down into baby steps.
5. Soak up those good feelings while they are happening. Notice them and appreciate them and soak them up into every cell of your body and allow your horse to do that as well. THAT is what will anchor those good feelings as the normal state of feeling.
Can you imagine how BIG that is? To anchor yummy feelings as the normal state of being?
While you are watching the video below, think about how YOUR horse might experience a similar difference between a perfectly good businesslike approach and a mind connected approach.
This video is only a very short demonstration – the actual Lesson is the audio that follows it. Can you pick the split second where I went into listening to/ feeling for Sunny?
Watch on Youtube if you need to.
The lesson
Click here for an alternate recording You could download this 6 minute lesson to your phone or MP3 player and take it out to your horse.
Written Version of the Audio
I already know how to halter my horse, and so do you – so what is it that I am looking for from you in this Lesson? What is the big picture?
I am looking for you to establish a Comfort Zone for your horse around them being haltered. I’m also looking for you to identify and release any resistance or trauma that has been involved in the process of haltering and if it’s the right time, find the joyfulness of the deep comfort zone.
I am looking for you to have your horse actively listening and co-operative about getting their halter on. I am looking for your horse to want to be with you.
A really important part of all these lessons is that you get the real value of getting each tiny baby step into your horse’s Comfort Zone. What can be tiny baby steps here can mean giant leaps forward in your saddle work.
And yet again, at no time do you allow my suggestions to have priority over something that you feel or think that you should be doing. When you are connected to your horse, you will be getting YOUR messages about doing it YOUR way – for you and YOUR horse, YOUR safety, YOUR joyfulness.
What to do
Notice how YOU feel, which is what you are doing when you go into inner awareness, or breathe for a Quiet Mind, or scan yourself from your head to your feet noticing how you feel inside – then bring out the halter.
Your horse will probably be walking up to you by this stage, with a happy look on their face. When you’re doing the “horse hello”, as you hold the back of your hand out, have the halter in your hand for the horse hello.
Stop and back off at any point in that approach that you feel or know or notice a change in your horse, stop at any feeling of Not Quite Right or if you get a visual signal such as they look away from you or are no longer actively listening. You can pause the audio if that happens and come back to me after they’ve chewed.
Does the act of bringing out the halter change the way that your horse walked up to you? It does for lots of horses, so if it does for you, then you’ll need to repeat walking up with the halter until that’s in their Comfort Zone.
It’s understandable that the halter changes things because everything you’ve done before this, your horse has been able to leave whenever they wanted to. Once the halter is on, they are REALLY depending on you to notice and work their Comfort Zone.
Repeat walking up to them with the halter in your hand as many times as you need to, to get that in their Comfort Zone before you go on to the rest of the Lesson.
There’s nothing fancy here again, just make sure that you can still rub them on the neck, with the halter in your rubbing hand. Stop and back off at any point that you FEEL or KNOW or NOTICE a change in your horse, however you experience Not Quite Right and stop, back off and wait for The Chew no matter how long it takes.
Any time that your horse does a long processing – a really big yawning release, particularly with stretching – notice if you are best to walk away with this job only half done. You will know for yourself how big emotional releases can be exhausting. Coming back later in the day or even tomorrow can be a VERY good deal!
Here is another thing you can do before you put the halter on. Make sure that you can still play the Mirror game, move them around, change speed and direction loose in the paddock or field, just a step or two with the halter in your hand and have them stay in their Comfort Zone – because for many horses, the halter changes things and that needs to be “fixed” before you move on.
Copper, a very elderly pensioner that we have at home, got in on the act to make me understand the importance of the Comfort Zone with the halter. Here he is in horse heaven, a life of leisure and he just turned his head away from me when I held the halter out. He wouldn’t even look towards me let alone give me active listening! So I just dropped the halter away from him and waited for The Chew.
He was making the point that even a horse who is doing nothing is entitled to do the basic things in life without stress or tension as a habit.
No doubt you will all be more patient than I was as I was learning this and you won’t be groaning at the idea of taking the halter away yet AGAIN because you KNOW now, that the time that you spend connecting to your horse’s mind and doing nothing else, is the most precious time of all. It’s the time that will cause the bubbling up of joyfulness in you and your horse – and that’s an experience not to miss!
So use the waiting time to find the enjoyment just sitting there, allowing thoughts and ideas to drift across your mind, the thoughts and ideas that will often be your horse communicating with you, that may even be YOU releasing old resistances and traumas instead of your horse.
I like to hold the noseband open as an invitation for my horse to drop his nose into the noseband of the halter. If YOU did this, does anything change? When you start doing the halter up, pay close attention. Does any step of this change anything? What about the movement of your hand near their eye, as you started to do up the halter, will that change anything? At every step of the haltering process, you’re looking for a soft, alert, horse who’s happy to be with you, who’s actively listening.
You’re going to go and explore what part or parts of haltering are outside your horse’s Comfort Zone. Do it slowly enough so that you notice when they leave their Comfort Zone. Stop and back off at any point that you feel Not Quite Right or have thoughts and ideas cross your mind or if you “know” or notice a change in your horse or if they look away from you or are no longer actively listening.
For those of you who haven’t done that before, I bet this exercise will be an eye opener.
Your job now is to go back and work through each tiny baby step of the haltering process, slowly enough so that you can notice wherever they leave their Comfort Zone – and stop, take the halter off and step right away if you feel you need to and wait for The Chew again. Even if you’ve done this Lesson before from reading Zen Connection with Horses, go back and do this Lesson again, with a deeper listening and a deeper awareness and even more consideration of your horse. Look at that video of me with Sunny – what a difference the mind connection makes!
And repeat this Lesson as often as you need to, over as many days as you need to, until haltering is completely in your horse’s Comfort Zone.
And for those of you who make your breakthrough into joyfulness with this Lesson – hooray!