As I was talking about in the last Lesson, having a herd bound horse going nuts when their friend leaves them is at best uncomfortable and it can be terrifying to watch.
But even worse than that, is what happens to the horse inside when we try and avoid the problem by making them live separately. Living separately, inappropriate weaning or losing their friend without understanding or preparation is probably what got the poor thing so herd bound in the first place – so we only make it worse by making them live by themselves.
When we make them live by themselves, then they LIVE in their “Oh Shit” Zone instead of just going into it when their mate leaves them.
The last lesson, leaving with a herd bound horse is an essential part of this Lesson too.
As is OUR unique version of Not Quite Right
And again – here’s the short version:
What way do YOU – UNIQUELY and differently to EVERYone else – experience your inner guidance system? As you do this task, keep your heart open to notice how YOU feel inside, that could be YOUR HORSE’s breathing, heart rate, tension, tense posture, yucky feeling energy, anxiety, frustration or worries that will escalate if you don’t pay attention and take action.
Because these are ALL ways that you can experience your Not Quite Right – ALL ways that you can experience your connection to your horse depending on your natural talents.
There’s lots on this in the forum
There’s an enormous amount of extra resources on the forum around separation anxiety (and many other things) – so please… DO go in there and have a look – here’s just one of them.
Click here for the alternate recording (To download, right click and save.)
Written Version of the Audio
Helping your horse be comfortable about having their mate – their friend – leave them is best done by getting the last lesson – the one about helping YOUR HORSE to get a Comfort Zone leaving their mate – getting that last lesson very good FIRST. That’s the easier way to do it for a very herd bound horse.
Bobby was so herd bound before I got him, that one time he needed a vet for the colic attack that developed when his mate in the paddock next door went to pony club for the day.
I believe he was so herd bound BECAUSE he had lived alone in a lovely safe paddock from the time he finished weaning.
We all used to think that that was the best way to keep our precious babies safe, keep them by themselves in a lovely safe paddock – but I had no idea at the time how stressful that way of living is for a herd animal.
Most horses cannot even relax and sleep without chronic anxiety unless they have a mate to watch over them and keep them safe.
I don’t know of a single horse who enjoys living like that.
Once you have got your horse comfortable about going away from their mate, then here’s some ideas that worked very well with Bobby when I prepared him for his new paddock mate to leave him occasionally.
These days I would tell the horse quite simply and clearly that I was going to take their friend away for a short time AND THAT THEY WOULD BE COMING BACK. And I would do that BEFORE the saddle and gear came out or the float (some of you call that a trailer) pulled up to take their friend.
Some people think horses are dumb because when they are afraid they act that way. We can act pretty stupidly when we are afraid too. But if you can do your communication stuff BEFORE your horse has any reason to be anxious – then they CAN listen to you.
Back in those days though, I didn’t have that additional talking to the horse tool. I was still able to make it OK for him though.
I loaded Carlos, Bobby’s friend, into the float, did the back of the float up – undid the back, unloaded him and put him back loose into the paddock with Bobby.
After the energy had settled down, I took Carlos again, loaded him into the float and drove around the block – we were away less than five minutes – unloaded him, put him back into the paddock with Bobby.
I did that a few times for that very short period of time and recommend that you do that as often as you need to, until there is a Comfort Zone of sorts. I suspect your herd bound horse will not be completely happy, but they will be able to put up with it.
Then I started to take Carlos for a little bit further and for a little bit longer until in the end I could take Carlos out for a ride and Bobby was OK with it, KNOWING that Carlos was coming back.
I did this work by taking their friend away with the float, but you can lead or ride their friend away if the friend themselves isn’t herd bound – using exactly the same technique – telling them what’s happening before you get the other horse and the baby steps of only going for VERY short periods of time – just a minute or two out of sight to start off with until you have created a tolerance for the leaving and a confidence that their friend is coming back.
This is one of those jobs that is best done BEFORE you have to do it.
There are all kinds of circumstances where horses need to be separate, even if it is just taking one of them to the vet. And you don’t need another vet job from fence injuries or colic waiting for you when you get back!
Doing this ahead of time is another of those trauma release areas that can increase your horse’s sense of well being. So if you are waiting for a long time for The Chew at any time during this – just enjoy helping your horse to feel good.
Up Next
In the next Lesson, you will learn a way to calm you horse at those times when it’s difficult to have them in a Comfort Zone.