Here’s the feedback for the last week’s group on what happened when they took that out to their horses, including their next steps. Also in this video we have the Comfort Zone work with the second group.
If you work along with the “riders” as we’re working, then you too can experience your own breakthroughs. We’ve already got one fence-sitter blissed out from the recording!
Update from Sandra with Bergie after their session. Bergie’s eyes were soft, she saw his mouth relaxed for the first time and he chose to stay with her, soft eyes watching her. Sandra herself experienced some interesting energy changes and had a nice day smiling at everyone.
See… Bergie was weaned at three months old. I shan’t tell you why because you’ll get cross and that’ll distract you from the important part. Bergie did not have a Comfort Zone with humans at all. What Sandra’s doing at the moment with her sitting and just feeling herself smile, not asking anything of him at all, IS establishing a Comfort Zone. And what a grand start they’ve made together!
Below the written version is more detail on the Comfort Zone for those who are not familiar with it.
Written version
I said that our clinic would be a relief filled, joyously liberating and healing experience for both horse and rider and that we’re going to throw the need for practice, practice, practicing out the window, so let’s get on with it!
Fast, shortcut and gentle aren’t dirty words here.
The Comfort Zone Model is the first key and it’s the key to fine-tuning our Feel for our horse – and ourselves. A Comfort Zone makes it easier to get your Feel happening – it’s not the only way but it sure is easier! Feel for your horse is everything. I call it the Key to the Kingdom of Horses because once you have it AND know how to use it, the sky’s pretty much the limit. Our Feel is the thing that cuts through to the heart of any problem, whether it’s a behavior problem, learning something new with your horse, whether it’s a healing thing for you or your horse that you’re looking for or understanding It’s difficult to have Feel without paying attention to you and your horse’s Comfort Zone. Getting good with our Feel is an incredibly important key to rapid progress AND it’s the key to joyfulness with our horse and in our lives.
Clearing up what’s BEHIND whatever’s happening is another part of our signature approach to rapid progress – that’s the part that throws the practice practice practicing out the window and instead, creates a comfortable feeling of new normal.
I hear it all the time – we’re supposed to be patient and brave and “get on with it”. We’ve all heard it. “It takes time for us to get better with horses and our riding”. “It takes time and many repetitions for horses to make a change”. What a load of crap. The message of impatience is that there IS a better faster way. That only becomes a problem when we think it’s the the other – the other person or the horse – that has to find it. If it’s our impatience, it’s for US to find that better faster way. And getting on with it when there’s fear involved is a great way to get injured and apart from the terrible effects of that on our horses psyche, it’s responsible for horse riding being the sport with consistently the worst accident rate and injuries. We’re smack in the middle of changing that, right now, right here, today.
Knowing our own Truth is also a big deal in creating that gloriously fast change. Finding each of our own Truths around what I think of as these foundation philosophies is something else that creates a new normal and it’s a short cut to our joyful possibilities.
With all that in mind, we’re going to approach the Comfort Zone Model from a different direction this time.
Let’s make this about our horse’s first, but know that the Comfort Zone Model applies to people as well, specially if you’re looking for change in a long standing problem or healing something, release of a PTSD or a need to let go an untrue belief in order to have what we want. We’ve gotta feel comfortable in order to make those big changes, hey?
So does our horse – have to feel comfortable to make big changes quickly. The centre of the circle here is the comfort zone. The comfort zone is where your horse feels comfortable and relaxed – where everything feels good. Learning takes place easily in the comfort zone, as does healing.
Pause on that for a moment and let’s all have a Feel into the truth of this or not. Is it true that both learning and healing are easiest achieved in the the place of relaxation and curiosity of the Comfort Zone? Breathing… We’re not looking for intellectual answer, allow the answer to come up from the inside of you.
This narrow band outside the comfort zone is what we call the Not Too Sure Zone. In the Not Too Sure Zone, your horse feels a bit of tension, even a slight anxiety. Our horse can still learn in the Not Too Sure Zone, but think about what they’re learning – i.e. they’re learning a certain amount of stress and tension – if they’re there for too long, they’re creating a HABIT of stress and tension – it becomes chronic. Unless it’s released with connection and communication, each layer of that builds onto the next, increasing the stress and tension until it’s causing behavior and training, even health issues.
Now let’s ask ourselves, is THAT really true? Breathing… We’re not looking for intellectual answer, allow the answer to come up from the inside of you. Is it true or not that spending too long in the slight tension and anxiety of the Not Too Sure Zone creates a habit of stress and tension. How might that be causing problems for YOUR horse? Again, we’re not looking for intellectual answer, allow the answer to come up from the inside of you.
The oh shit I’m dead zone, from now on known as the Oh Shit Zone, kind of speaks for itself. It’s a place in their mind and spirit where they can’t think, they can only react with survival reactions many of which are not useful to us as riders and some of which are downright dangerous. In the oh shit I’m dead zone, our horse reacts the same way that they did the first time when they created that neural pathway, even if that reaction causes them on-going problems and even pain.
Let’s pause and Feel into this too – is THIS really true? Breathing… We’re not looking for intellectual answer, allow the answer to come up from the inside of you. Is it really true – or not – that when horses were “taught” in the oh shit zone, that it became an automatic, mindless reaction that has no thought and no learning in it, no matter how serious a problem or pain it causes? Again… we’re not looking for intellectual answer, allow the answer to come up from the inside of you.
You fencesitters can pause the recording here until you’re ready for this next bit and then you can do this too.
And then when we’re all ready…
Now, let’s think about what we’re looking for from our clinic. Let’s drop into our Inner Guidance system and get an understanding of where this Comfort Zone Model can help us reach our goal or help our horse.
Spotlight
Work with each “rider” to get the flow of that insight happening.
I’m leaving these Comfort Zone details here for the folk who haven’t seen this model before.
The Comfort Zone and its relationship to Feel
You’ll be hearing a lot about the metaphor of the loud vacuum cleaner sound, that drowns out the noise of the telephone ringing. When you’re in the tension of the Not Too Sure Zone for too long and the mindless fear reactions of the Oh Shit Zone – that’s the sound of the vacuum cleaner going so loud that you can’t hear the phone ringing. Either you and / or your horse being in the Not Too Sure Zone for too long or in the Oh Shit Zone regularly, risks drowning out the sensitivity of your Feel. Makes sense?
Start by observing and noticing the Comfort Zone Model in everything that you do with your horse. What zone are they in? How can you support them back to their Comfort Zone? We’ve got lessons coming later that will have you thinking more about HOW you can do that with Feel and more about WHY you want to be doing that too…
The most important job you will have with your horse from now on, is to notice when your horse is afraid AND TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT to help your horse to feel safe and because of the way you feel your connection to your horse, your own feelings of safety will depend on it.
It doesn’t matter that you don’t understand how they could be afraid of this thing, it doesn’t matter if you think their fear is irrational – it only matters that you do whatever action it takes to help them feel safe.
Our Comfort Zone Model has been adapted from a gifted Tasmanian horseman called Philip Nye.
Phil used to say that working mostly in the Comfort Zone and spending no longer than two minutes in the Not Too Sure Zone was a good learning program, but he is a seriously gifted horseman.
If you have a happy relaxed horse learning something new, then no longer than two minutes in the Not Too Sure Zone can work. LONGER than two minutes in the Not Too Sure Zone is a no no. Longer than 2 minutes in the Not Too Sure Zone and we are in danger of creating a HABIT of our horse feeling tense and anxious – even in a relatively relaxed happy horse.
In fact, because nobody ever told us this stuff, it’s a sad fact that MOST horses already have the habit of feeling tense and anxious in many situations that are actually routine in their lives. And it happened because they spent way too long in their Not Too Sure Zone. This chronic tension not only gets in the way of their performance, it adversely affects their ability to carry their bodies freely, causes muscle and joint problems and eventually adversely affects their health.
We can actually RELEASE old tensions from even chronically scared horses, by understanding this model, listening to them in all the ways that I talked about in the Key to the Kingdom of Horses and working their Comfort Zone with connection and sensitivity of Feel. You’re going to be experiencing that during the clinic..
The practical application of this Comfort Zone Model is that EVERY TIME YOU NOTICE YOUR HORSE IS AFRAID, YOU DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO HELP THEM FIND A COMFORT ZONE AGAIN – ideally in seconds.
You back off, slow down, take the pressure off, change what you are doing, get off, turn around and go back to the paddock, to the field or the barn, go back towards their horse friend – whatever it is that you have to do to help them find a Comfort Zone again.
When your horse feels OK, you can stop there and wait for The Lick and Chew – that’s validation – a signal of shared communication.
When you take this action EVERY TIME YOUR HORSE IS AFRAID, then the Comfort Zone will get bigger and bigger until it covers everything that you want to do with your horse.
And it gets much, much faster to put new things into the Comfort Zone as you go along and it is sooo worth it.
I apply the Comfort Zone Model to everything that I do with horses – all the time – so that relaxation and thinking and curiosity and learning easily becomes the normal thing for my horse to experience. And I take whatever time it takes for that to happen.
And believe me, once you and your horse get the hang of working like this it is sooo much faster to learn new things with your horse’s active co-operation.
It’s absolutely delicious to have your horse’s active co-operation in learning new things. It’s a very special experience.
Today’s photo: Cartoons of Joe (that’s the same Joe featured in the Key to the Kingdom video) are by the talented cartoonist Kim Wong, who stayed with us here as a wwoof”er a few years ago. (Never heard of wwoofers? Willing Workers On Organic Farms, fabulous farming program.
Here’s the original Comfort Zone video for those who haven’t seen it before.
Troubleshooting
If you have trouble playing the video on my website, click here and watch it on Youtube instead.
The Comfort Zone and its relationship to Feel
It’s difficult to HAVE Feel without paying attention to you and your horse’s Comfort Zone.
You’ll be hearing a lot about the metaphor of the loud vacuum cleaner sound, that drowns out the noise of the telephone ringing. When you’re in the tension of the Not Too Sure Zone for too long and the mindless fear reactions of the Oh Shit Zone – that’s the sound of the vacuum cleaner going so loud that you can’t hear the phone ringing. Either you and / or your horse being in the Not Too Sure Zone for too long or in the Oh Shit Zone regularly, risks drowning out the sensitivity of your Feel. Makes sense?
Start by observing and noticing the Comfort Zone Model in everything that you do with your horse. What zone are they in? And what are you going to do about it?