This is so big I almost don’t know where to start.
Do I start with the physical repercussions in our horses’ bodies and their ability to solve even serious health issues when we go looking for what we here in our community call The Third Way? Or the effects of this philosophy on our horse’s behavior? Or the effect it has on our “training” ability? The quote marks are because I don’t know about you, but I’ve stepped into a place of “who is training who here?”
Or do I start with the healing effect on our own bodies as our Vagus nerve opens up when we consistently look for the Third Way and that affects everything from the way our heart beats and we breathe, to all the organs of our digestion, to our hormones and brain chemicals.
Or do I start with the joy that happens more and more often as horse and person work cooperatively together to BOTH get what we want and need, more and more on auto pilot?
Or the joy that happens more and more often as we deal with our personal relationships better and better, more and more on auto pilot?
Or the sheer freaking power that we have when more and more powerlessness and helplessness just disappears every time we go looking for the Third Way. I’ve got happy tears as I’m writing this.
Oh my goodness…
The same thing that is at the heart of being brilliant with horses is at the heart of living a life filled with ease and grace – being able to resolve conflicts without any need for either party to compromise, understanding each other, celebrating each others’ uniquenesses and dissolving any problems around our differences.
And THAT is this beautiful philosophy that we call The Third Way.
There’s three simple threads to this powerful way of being with our horses, with our relationships, or with whatever conflict in the world around us that upsets us:
- The first thing is Curiosity about whether it’s really true that it’s possible to resolve any conflict without either party needing to compromise? I get it, this sounds far out until you’ve experienced it reliably for yourself. This is just opening our minds to the possibility, so that we can look for it. When we apply this to our horses, it’s as simple as when we want them to do something and they don’t. Or it’s not happening the way we want it to – and then being curious – is there REALLY a magical recipe, another answer, a third option that feels really good to BOTH of us, EVERY time they’re not doing something that we’re asking them to do, the way that we want them to do it?
- It’s a simple willingness to understand our horse, rather than blaming them or making them “wrong” or “bad” or that what they’re doing is a mistake or a problem. It’s an open hearted willingness to look for that Third Way of both horse and person getting what will make BOTH of them feel really good, each time there’s resistance or defensiveness or conflict. They’ll find a new freedom in their body.
- Keep your eyes, ears, mind and heart open to notice when that Third Way appears, because it will likely be quite different to what you’re doing. The answer can flow in the moment or we might need to pause and open up to it or we might even need to stop and create an opportunity for the Third Way to come to our attention. The more we practice, the more the answers flows in the moment.
Sometimes we’ll open up to the Third Way and discover that we didn’t really want that after all or the horse will discover that they’re happy to do that after all and with that lack of resistance or defensiveness, This is not some airy fairy crap though, it’s not some wishy washy “let them do whatever they want”, get trodden on and be pushed around and feeling frustrated because we’re not getting what we really want. This is about US getting what WE want and the horse getting what THEY want, both at the same time and that happening BECAUSE of our desire to understand them and understand ourselves and instead of it being OUR way or THEIR way, we’re open to The Third Way that gives both of us what we’re looking for.
Let’s just feel into the possibility of that for a minute and soak it up. Is it really true?
This is about US getting what WE want and the horse getting what THEY want, both at the same time and that happening BECAUSE of our desire to understand them and understand ourselves and instead of it being OUR way or THEIR way, we’re open to The Third Way that gives both of us what we’re looking for.
And the same principle applies to personal relationships and global relationships.
Talk to Sandra about how we discovered the Third Way in a heal your horse’s back clinic, when Milly was experiencing multiple life threatening colics.
And then what she experienced with Bandit the next day.
So how do WE do that?
Each of us is on our own journey to being able to do and have what Sandra experienced – it stands to reason doesn’t it? We’re all different, we all want different things, we all have different goals and dreams. Each individual thing that’s happened in my life and caused my beliefs, both true and untrue beliefs, that caused my reactions and defensiveness and resistances – they’re all going to be different to yours and to everyone else on this call, hey? And each of our horses is going to have got where THEY are differently too. So our path to getting where we want to go is going to be utterly unique to each of us. Does that make sense?
Keep it simple though. Each time :
- Curiosity about whether it’s really true that it’s possible to resolve any conflict without either party needing to compromise? Is there REALLY another answer, a third option that feels really good to BOTH of us, EVERY time our horse is not doing something that we’re asking them to do, the way that we want them to do it?
- Have an open hearted willingness to look for that Third Way of both ourselves and our horse getting what will make BOTH of us feel really good, each time there’s resistance or defensiveness or conflict.
- Keep our eyes, ears, mind and heart open to notice when that Third Way appears, because it will likely be quite different to what we’re doing – whether the answer flows in the moment or we need to pause and open up to it or whether we need to stop and create an opportunity for the Third Way to come to our attention.
So let’s have a chat to people and see how we can apply this Third Way thing to solve some stuff.