Our thanks to the brave people who put their hand up to work with me, when they had no idea of what to expect! I’m sure that being able to see how we work will have more people putting their hand up next time. 🙂
My written notes for this seminar
Today is about helping as many people as possible find the beginning of, or deepen their Feel for their horse. We have some exciting events on different aspects of Feel coming up, but as of preparing this page I have no idea how that is going to unfold. We may have a discussion at the end and figure it out! You’ll find the list of topics at the bottom of the page.
To talk to me, put your hand up by going to the keypad and pressing *2, that’s star 2. I’ll be working my way through the board from the people who were here earliest, until I’ve finished.
Here’s a reminder of the Feels that you saw in action on the Key to the Kingdom of Horses video:
• Dawn felt Joe’s fear as clearly as if it was her own. That’s what we call Emotional Feel. When it’s in overwhelm we typically feel a flood of super intense emotions like terror or rage or pounding heart wrenching anxiety or despair or even the numbness that can come with depression.
• Dawn felt his physical tension (in her case as a restriction in her breathing) – as clearly as if it was her own. That’s what we call Physical Feel. When it’s in overwhelm some people can actually Feel their horse’s aches and pain so intensely that they think it’s theirs.
• She felt the energy flow both within her – as clearly as if it was her own (and also felt it between them) That folks, is the holy grail of dressage riders who aspire to mastership of their art.
• She felt the happiness he felt when he understood how meticulously she was trying to listen to to him – as clearly as if it was her own happiness and some of it was her happiness, they were feeding happiness and bubbles of joy from one to the other, escalating each other in a lovely way. Heart Feel people are usually incredibly gentle. It has no judgement, it has no bad boy/girl, no disrespect, no blame – only a heart open desire to know what’s going on behind this problem or issue or behavior.. When this Heart Feel is in overwhelm, people typically experience that as despair.
• Dawn also “heard” Joe’s ideas (and no doubt Sam’s too) about how to help him – as clearly as if they were her own ideas. That’s the Mental Feel that was my first experience of Bobby all those years ago. When this Feel is in overwhelm, people typically experience that as worrying, with their mind chattering away non stop, even making it hard to sleep.
What you saw with Dawn and Joe in that video, using those different ways of Feeling for him to communicate with her and for her to communicate with him and is completely normal and accessible to EVERYONE.
The key to failure
It’s not often that we talk about the key to failure, but failure and the feelings of inadequacy have been so common in the horse world, that we have to talk about why it happens before people get here to us.
Have you ever watched someone REALLY good with horses and thought “I could never do that. I could never be that good.” Have you been in a lesson or a clinic, tried your guts out to copy what they did and felt like a dummy? Well that’s because you were trying to copy THEM and YOU CAN’T. Copying someone else’s Feel will ALWAYS lead to failure.
THAT’s why you felt so crappy.
Because Feel comes from INSIDE of us. It can ONLY come from the inside of us. It’s an INNER Awareness – it’s the inside of your horse communicating with the inside of you.
What you might notice as you listen to others today
The first time someone Feels their horse it’s usually subtle. That’s why it’s so useful to have me pointing it out you.
I feel for you just like you Feel for your horse. I DO NOT reach out and peer inside you to figure out what you’re feeling. Not even a tiny bit. I only feel INSIDE OF ME. And then I feel what you’re feeling on auto pilot when it’s useful to YOU. That’s my natural talent that I’ve spent a lot of authenticity on honing into a skill.
By the way that’s the same for you and your horse. You don’t go poking around trying to feel inside of them. It doesn’t work like that. You feel INSIDE OF YOU. That’s where you’ll feel your horse communicating with you – inside of you. It’s an INNER Awareness.
If someone experiences more intense feelings, I’ll be talking you through how to handle that gently and sweetly.
We may experience – I’ll be very surprised of we don’t experience periods of silence while someone works through noticing what they’re feeling. You can support that process by gently noticing what you’re feeling at the same time.
Just because it’s a big fear or a big pain or a big worry or a big explosive stuck energy, or a big despair – the intensity of it doesn’t make it all yours. Your feelings are the way that you experience your connection to others AND they are your inner guidance system – which includes guiding you to how best to help others.
That’s an INCREDIBLY important message – how strong the feeling is, does not make it yours. If you’re one of the super sensitives or the nurturers or the healers, understanding what to do with these feelings when you’re being guided to help someone else – like Dawn is helping Joe in the video – it’s going to be like … ahhhh… the most incredible relief. It will be like ten tons of stress and tension comes off you.
Finding and understanding your own unique Feel will bring you an expansive relief and the peacefulness and the bubbles of happiness and the joy and all the other “good” stuff.
Thinking of the horse as a prey animal, has led to us thinking it’s normal for a horse to be scared or anxious. It’s not normal at all. yes it’s common and even USUAL, but it’s not a normal state of being for a horse and it’s just as crappy for them as living with anxiety is for us. When we use our Feel for them, we can change that a LOT more easily.
Enjoying the journey.
Using our Feel is HOW we can enjoy the journey. We establish a base line of feeling good like Dawn did 8 minutes into working with Joe and then that becomes the new normal that we return to repeatedly so that we are always enjoying the journey.
Where to now?
There’s going to be more live events like this, where we’ll have a topic and then each and every person who puts their hand up to work with me, can. The topics planned are about Feel around safety and the confidence that comes from that, Feel for problem solving, Feel in your riding seat, clearing up what’s drowning out your Feel for your horse, Feel for healing for your horse, Feel for healing for yourself, the importance of your own Feel in the face of advice from others, Feel as a glorious path to the spiritual well being and centredness of BEing Present – you don’t need to be a monk on a mountaintop chanting to BE Present. The list goes on and it’s VERY exciting! And among all of those topics for those who are looking for it – will run a common thread of using this gift from our horses, to navigate our lives in such a way that unconditional love, peacefulness, happiness, joy, curiosity, excitement, heart centered passion – as the norm, no matter what is going on in the world around us.
That’s a big sentence and a big promise.
I have no idea how that’s all going to unfold or how I’m going to earn a living doing it, although I might know by the end of this session – right now I’m literally following my Feel in the Present moment. <3