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It’s OUR Happiness at stake
Here’s the thing folks… It’s OUR happiness that’s at stake in difficult relationships. That’s why it’s worth looking at them, because it’s OUR happiness, OUR peace of mind and OUR joy at stake.
Before we go any further into this – if we’re not ready to look deep into a difficult relationship, then that’s perfect too. Sometimes a number of things need to fall into place before that becomes an easy thing to do. And we want to be doing things easily and gently on ourselves hey? So keep that in mind as you read on. 🙂
Understanding a difficult relationship starts with a willingness to understand what brought each of you to that place, in that time and in those circumstances. Sometimes that means understanding the other person and how they got there to that behavior. Sometimes it’s about understanding our own contribution to whatever this is. And specially for really difficult relationships, it can require understanding the Truth of what we believe in, PLUS understanding how you both got to this point of toxicity.
Understanding a difficult relationship isn’t always about hearts and roses and lalala off with the fairies peacefulness either. Sometimes it’s a deep, powerful and from the heart fierceness with a sound that reverberates throughout the Universe “Enough!” “Go no further!” “Thou shalt not pass.” Wait til you listen to the audio and I’ll give you the sound and feeling of that “Thou shall not pass!” It’s BIG!
The understanding ALWAYS feels good.
To find the power of fierce love or peacefulness or even joy – yes even joy is a very possible outcome of these difficult relationships – it all comes from the understanding and the understanding ALWAYS feels good. I can tell you every day forever, that you don’t need to be worried about that and it won’t work until YOU get the Truth of that for YOURSELF. Which takes us back to the very first lesson of the Happiness program – How what other people know to be Truth can INSPIRE us but what other people believe in is not useful to you when the crap hits the fan. We need to find our own Truth and THAT is the only thing that will sustain us in the ups and downs of life.
See… I can tell you that finding that expansive understanding about a difficult relationship will bring you to a place of joy. I can also TELL you and INSPIRE you with my stories of open hearted fierce love that I also call “heart wide open with understanding righteous anger” – but you’re going to need to figure these out for yourself, by listening to YOUR OWN Inner Guidance system. So that when the crap hits the fan in life’s ups and downs, you have a foundation of YOUR OWN KNOWING, solidly and unshakeably underneath you.
Before we set ourselves up for our Quiet Mind for today, we want to make sure that what we’d like to do in this Quiet Mind feels good to YOU. Starting with doing something that you already feel crappy about even looking at, is not going to bring you happiness. It would set us up for struggling wouldn’t it?
So, have a Feel into this question… Does it feel good to think about how understanding this difficult relationship will help YOU to feel good? Is there a tiny tickle of excitement in amongst that nervousness? Will setting yourself up for understanding this difficult relationship – today – help YOU to feel peace of mind, centered powerful righteous anger, fierce love, happiness – whatever will come out of that understanding for you?
It IS possible that the understanding could flood in all at once, that HAS happened for some people – but in very difficult relationships, it’s just as likely that you’ll find that understanding in layers in the near future.
If that DOESN’T feel good, then either put your hand up at the next Live Event or email me for support. Every one of our program options has some support options that go with it.
If it DOES feel good, then let’s go.
If you have trouble with the audio player above, then click here for Practical Happiness – a quiet mind to understand difficult relationships
There’s a written version of the audio below the video, to help those for whom English is a second language, to better understand my Aussie accent! 🙂
Here’s that video I promised you on the audio – a meditation chant with the divine voice of Deva Premal.
The meaning of the words to the Gayatri Mantra are: Let us worship the God of all things, who can so well guide our understanding, like an eye suspended in the vault of heaven. Increase the volume if you want to chant along with Deva and Miten – you may notice the mantra stretching your breath just a little, increasing the carbon dioxide in your system. Here are the words of the mantra for those who may like to join in:
Aum Bhur Bhuvah Swah, Tat Savitur Varenyam
Bhargo Devasya Dhimahi, Dhiyo Yo Nah Prachodayat
If you have trouble with the video embedded, then click here for the youtube.
Written version of the audio (Often this isn’t exactly word for word.)
This is a Quiet Mind to support you to understand a difficult relationship. I wrote in the introduction that understanding a difficult relationship isn’t always about hearts and roses and lalala off with fairies peacefulness either. Sometimes understanding a difficult relationship brings us to flood of understanding and a sweet feeling of release. Sometimes it brings us to a fierce love, a powerful righteous anger that says
Thou shalt not pass….”
Can you feel the power of that??? Even when I say those words I can feel the big gun spiritual energy supporting us with this.
That fierce love / righteous anger / “you shall not pass” energy, comes first from an expansive understanding of the situation and the part that each of us plays in any difficult relationship and from that place of understanding, the righteous anger actually flows from the heart. Feel into the power of that “YOU SHALL NOT PASS” . It’s from the heart and incredibly powerful.
And now we’ll start our Quiet Mind with a commitment to be gentle with ourselves and to be as kind and gentle to others as is useful for them too. J
Take your attention to your outward breath … and the way that the lower part of your ribs move inwards as you breathe out…
And notice the way that the lower part of your ribs just eases that last bit of air from your lungs.
Notice that there’s a pause coming at the bottom of your breath, where for a moment you don’t need to breathe at all. Don’t try to make that happen, just notice that tiny little pause and how it gets longer and longer and how good that feels.
Feel for your heartbeat and if you can’t quite feel that then just imagine that you can.
If energy is your thing, Feel for any energy moving around your body, feel the tingles in your hands and feet, ripples of energy, allow those ripples of energy to flow through your feet into the ground if you need to, to keep that energy flowing.
Allow any thoughts and ideas and emotions to flow, noticing everything about them, no matter how negative you think they are, there’s gold at the bottom of them. Be aware of any pattern to them – maybe a stream of thoughts about different things will bring up an emotion, or there’s a common theme to the thoughts If thoughts and ideas or emotions are your thing, just observe them and allow them to flow, knowing that there’s an enormous opportunity for understanding here.
Allow your attention to wander over your body being aware of all the sensations in your body.
Keeping your gentle attention on feeling what’s happening in your body, today’s Quiet Mind is about understanding a difficult relationship. It’s about understanding how they came to this point in time and how you came to this point in time.
Breathing, heartbeat energy, flowing the emotions the energy, noticing the flow of thoughts and ideas…
It’s about understanding the big picture, it could even be about understanding the gifts within the situation.
Smile a little and allow the smile to flow and soften your eyes…
It may be about finding peacefulness, or about the heart wide open warrior spirit of fierce love and righteous anger, or it might be about the release and freedom that comes from real understanding.
It may be about understanding the truth of what you believe. It will be about melting away all of the unimportant stuff and cutting through to the heart of the matter.
Smiling gently and allowing that smile to flow through to your eyes…
Soak up any feelings of relaxation and feeling good, because that soaking up and appreciation is a major key in making feeling better and better your new normal.
I’m going to put a youtube up of Deva Premal divine chanting to help anyone who feels like they need some extra time and support for their understanding to flow.
If you feel that you need more support, email me.