The opening lines from the audio. “If you think about it, life is a whole journey of problem solving – one problem after another, big problems and little problems – sometimes a number of them that we’re working on at the same time. So if we’re going to only feel good when we’ve SOLVED it, then we’re going to be feeling crappier A WHOLE LOT more than we need to.
Practical happiness, practical spirituality in action. Please feel free to share this with like minded people.
Click here for an alternate audio if you need it. You’ll find the written version of my notes for both the lesson part and the Quiet Mind underneath the presentation.
For those who’d like to repeat the Quiet Mind, you’ll find it at 8 minutes and 40 seconds.
Written version of my own notes
(This written version won’t necessarily be identical, as I respond in the moment.)
If you think about it, life is a whole journey of problem solving – one problem after another, big problems and little problems – sometimes a number of them that we’re working on at the same time. So if we’re going to only feel good when we’ve SOLVED it, then we’re going to be feeling crappier A WHOLE LOT more than we need to.
Let’s talk about the big stuff, the kind of problems that produce that horrible feeling of dread or rage or anguish – the kind of problems that can seem so big that we may have to numb or disconnect ourselves in the overwhelm of them? How can we feel good while we’re solving THOSE kind of problems? How can we possibly feel peaceful, curious, excited, happy, maybe even joyful WHILE we’re in the middle of solving some big kind of issue like a serious health problem or a relationship breakup or a really stressful situation at work, a financial disaster or even a political or environmental melt down around us? (And I wrote these notes before Russia invaded the Ukraine.) I mean crikey – is that even POSSIBLE to feel good while going through those kind of things?
When I say it’s not only possible, it can be easy, I expect some of you are going to want to slap me.
Your Inner Guidance System is the key.
You follow your Inner Guidance System to figure out what you need to know, what action you need to take, what you need to change and WHEN you need to know or do it. It’s by following our Inner guidance system that feelings like peacefulness, excitement, curiosity, bubbles of happiness and even joyfulness become the norm – the centre point to which you return – even when REALLY crappy things are going on around you.
What do I mean by Inner Guidance System? Is that like those random intuitions that come to you occasionally?
Kind of, but much bigger and more consistent and a whole heap more reliable than that.
We each of us have our own unique way that we experience our Inner Guidance System. And it’s UTTERLY unique to us. We can’t copy anyone else’s way of doing it – that is the source of feeling like we are “not enough”. For the new people among us, I have put a more detailed explanation of the feel good problem solving process AND the five ways of feeling five ways of feeling up on the webpage that that I’ve linked here AND that I’ll send out on the recording. But we don’t want to be here for hours, so for today we’ll focus on actually FEELing OUR OWN unique combination of those five ways of feeling in our Quiet Mind to establish feeling good about the problem itself as a first step and then I’ll work with some people individually.
My written notes for the Quiet Mind are below this sign up form. I didn’t want new people to miss out on other seminars.
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Quiet Mind
(Again my notes get changed where I respond to what I feel in participants in the moment.)
We START with finding the feel good feelings about the problem itself – in this case, whatever the problem is that you’re bringing to this seminar. We start with finding the feeling good right at the beginning because that’s the most important part of feel good problem solving. It makes sense doesn’t it? If we START the problem solving feeling good, then it’s easier to follow the guidance and find that feel good centre again when we get pulled out of it for any reason.
Given that it’s likely that the problem already exists and we’re already feeling crappy about it, we STILL want to get to a place where we can genuinely experience peacefulness, genuine calm, or maybe excitement, curiosity, happiness, whatever feeling good comes up WHILE we’re thinking of this problem.
Yeah I know! It sounds big doesn’t it? And for some of you it might be. Some of you might even think that’s impossible. I PROMISE you it’s not. Finding the feel good feelings around the problem itself is what we’re going to work on today.
Some problems are so big that there’s layers in them that take time, so let’s get started.
Smiling a little and paying gentle attention to your OUTward breath, notice the way that the lower part of your ribs moves on your OUTward breath. The smiling part is important, so give me just a little smile as you pay gentle attention to your outward breath and the way the lower part of your ribs just kind of squash that breath from your lungs. Notice how you feel right now. Notice how that little smile makes the breath just a little sweeter and easier and more flowing. I’ve noticed that if I’m frowning, I’m trying too hard – and trying too hard gets in the way of this lovely stuff flowing easily – that’s why we have this focus on a soft eyes with a gentle smile.
Now in THIS space, make a commitment to be gentle with yourself while you look at this problem today. What does this mean to you? Does being gentle mean not struggling, not being hard on yourself? Does it mean doing it easy? Does it bring a smile to your face to think of being gentle on yourself? Do you feel peaceful or bubbles of happiness or excitement at that idea? Do you feel something else?
If anyone feels crappy about being gentle on yourself while you look at this problem today, then set your intention of finding relaxation in our time together and contact me later for some extra support. How would you set your intention to find relaxation? Just smile a little and make a conscious decision to find relaxation in this time together. We’ll all pause for a minute so that anyone feeling crappy about being gentle on themselves can make that thoughtful decision. Everyone else just keep noticing your outwards breath and the way that the lower part of your ribs just squashes the last little bit of breath from your lungs. Breathing more and more smoothly, more and more easily.
OK folks, our next step is to notice what we feel like about this problem that you’re bringing to this seminar and allow those feelings to guide us to what we need to know or do in order to feel good at this beginning of solving this problem.
The problem may be a big one with many steps to its resolution and we want to be feeling good ON THE JOURNEY ITSELF as we journey to resolve this problem. For some people, getting the problem itself feeling good can be the biggest part of resolving the problem.
Remember, we want to be feeling good about the problem itself, BEFORE we start working on resolving it. Yeah I know I’m repeating this – it’s a big deal and the most importnat part of the process. We want to be noticing everything about what IS about this problem, before we go about changing anything. If we start trying to make changes BEFORE we’ve noticed everything about WHAT IS ALREADY HAPPENING, then we risk changing something that doesn’t need changing, we risk changing something that is already a perfect step on the way to to resolving the problem and we risk struggling unnecessarily and manifesting more struggle.
Here’s another important thing to know. We’re all utterly unique and we’ll all be feeling and doing this differently. We don’t just KNOW that we’re all different here, we actually CELEBRATE our uniqueness. Our Inner Guidance system is an INTERNAL thing and can’t come from someone else.
I’m going to step you through all kinds of ways of feeling – ALL of which are utterly perfect – ALL of which are just messages from your Inner Guidance System – that will actually guide you to the place where you can feel good about the problem itself. Some of these ways of feeling WON’T resonate with you, you might even wonder what the heck I’m talking about because that’s not how YOU feel. That’s OK, it’s the uniqueness thing.
We all feel differently.
Some of these ways of feeling WILL resonate with you, just flow with those feelings that you DO feel, knowing that there is no such thing as “bad” feelings, only guidance.
Smiling, breathing… and starting to notice the tiny pause at the bottom of your outward breath. You’re not doing that on purpose, you’re just noticing what’s happening.
Smiling and breathing.
Notice that tiny pause that’s just starting to happen naturally at the bottom of the outward breath. You’re not doing that on purpose either, just notice that pause where just for a split second you don’t even need to breathe at all.
Smiling and breathing
Allow your attention to flow outwards from your breath and notice ALL of what the inside of your body feels like. You might feel your heart beating, You might feel tensions and discomforts in your body. Your might feel emotions. You might feel energy moving around your body, tingling and flowing. You might have thoughts and ideas coming across your mind. Smiling gently, notice everything about how you feel inside NOW and let it all flow – KNOWING that this is your inner guidance system, that it’s a precious part of you, that it’s your connection to your own soul, messages form your own soul.
Smiling and breathing and noticing.
Still smiling softly with your eyes, notice what changes in your body when you think about this problem that you’ve brought to the seminar today. Just observing what changes, knowing that they’re just messages from your Inner Guidance system and when you understand them pfft! they’ll just disappear.
What’s happening to your breath and your heartbeat and your tensions and discomforts, with your energy and your emotions and your thoughts, when you think about this problem that you’ve brought today? Just notice everything about what’s happening. Keep that gentle smile happening, that desire to be gentle on yourself while noticing everything happening inside of you.
Being aware and open to the idea that because of the way we experience our connection to others, that what you’re feeling may not even be yours. And if this is your first time with us and that’s a foreign concept, just relax – we’ll be doing more around this when I work with some people individually and you’ll see how easily that flows.
Flow with whatever comes up, with the confidence that we’re holding you here in this sacred space.
You might even feel resistance and that’s perfect too – just notice it. Observe it. Observe how well the resistance is looking after you,how well it’s been looking after you.
Still smiling softly with your eyes, knowing that the way inner guidance comes for you, is utterly perfect. The problem might not be perfect, the crap around this problem might not be perfect – but these messages ARE perfect. They are messages from your own soul about what has to happen, what has to change, in order to feel good about this problem from this point, so that you can enjoy the journey to resolve it.
Smiling and breathing, no right or wrong… The ahhaaa moments or the insights come or they don’t. They come now or they come later.
Smiling and breathing – guidance happening or no guidance happening just yet, just relaxation as you notice everything that’s available to you right now about what IS, about this problem.
Notice any thoughts and ideas, no matter how negative you think they are, just notice them and any patterns of what they feel like – follow and observe those thoughts, smiling gently, open, allowing them to flow all the way to the gold at the bottom of them.
Notice your breath and your heart beat, how your body feels physically, the energy moving, the emotions – ALL utterly, smilingly, perfect messages designed in this instance to notice everything that IS, about this problem that you’ve brought to the seminar today – open to any guidance that those messages might bring you – now or later. All in perfect time.
Soft gently smiling eyes observing, open with gentle curiosity and willingness to understand or bear witness to or just BE with, whatever your body mind and spirit is bringing to your attention inside you.
What’s the message here?
Stay open to the idea that what you might be feeling here might not be all yours. In our connection to others, we can feel their feelings so clearly and vividly and strongly sometimes, that we think they’re ours. The intensity of the feeling does not make it ours.
Breathing…
Smiling…
Ahhh now that feels done.
When they’re finished, bring them back to their bodies. Get them to walk it in.
Does everyone feel complete?
Who’d like to share what came up for them in that Quiet Mind?
If we can, work with someone who has a health issue, a relationship problem , a financial problem, fear about Russia invading Ukraine, political upset.
Mention that we’ve got a Practical Happiness online clinic coming up later in March where we’ll be spending 4 wonderful weeks getting better and better at practicing and getting stronger in our Inner Guidance system and feel good problem solving capabilities no matter what’s going on in our lives.