There’s been a whole industry created around making us ineffective with horses. Think about it. We’ve been programmed to turn control over to a teacher. I expect that was reasonable back in the school classroom – clearly a teacher needs to keep control when they have a whole group of kids at the same time.
But turning control over to someone else makes us ineffective riders.
We’ve been programmed to rely on others for feedback, instead of relying on our horse – who is the one we SHOULD be relying on. How else can our partnership improve if we don’t listen carefully to our horse and Feel for how they’re going and use the horse’s feedback to change and improve? How can we POSSIBLY reach the glory of a partnership with a horse unless it’s THEM that we’re listening to? And US that THEY’re listening to? And us that they’re happily WILLING to listen to?
We’ve been programmed to rely on others for our safety and oh crikey – how often does THAT bite us on the butt hey? The only fall I’ve had in the last 15 years, came from listening to someone else and allowing my own instincts to be pushed to the side in favour of the “teacher”. This very thing – relying on others for our safety, is what actually makes insurance underwriters call horse riding the most dangerous sport in Australia – ahead of bungee jumping and sky diving – crikey!
It just doesn’t have to be like that – WHEN we listen to our own instincts – our OWN inner guidance system. That’s what our inner guidance system is designed for – to keep us safe. (It’s also for all kinds of other yummy things, but its first priority is keeping us safe.)
We’ve been programmed to rely on others to constantly teach us new ways to beat our horse’s resistance and defensiveness – instead of using our connection to our horse to bring forth the willingness of our horse. Actually I haven’t expressed that well, because our horse is almost always willing – WHEN we’ve figured out how to listen and work WITH them.
And talking of resistance and defensiveness, turning control over to a teacher throws our timing out (we’re always seconds behind what we should have been doing). Then the response that we DO make is inappropriate and actually INCREASES our horse’s resistance and defensiveness. It’s Feel that makes it possible to be instantly together, in sync with our horse – way beyond mere timing.
I can’t help asking you – how’s that “relying on others” thing been working for you so far? Have you reached your goals happily yet? Have you been enjoying the journey towards getting what you want?
I can also hear Sue and Caroline in the back of my head, reminding me “It’s not WRONG to hand over control to someone else.” But here’s the thing…. Even if we’re handing over control to someone else, we keep our intention to keep ourselves safe and keep the gentle awareness that makes being safe possible and in ways that INCREASES our Feel for our horse, increases the confidence for both us and our horse and the happiness just flows from that.
Mentoring versus teaching
The funny thing is, for a very long time now, I’ve recognized that I have a certain tone in my voice when I go into “teacher” mode, and that if I do that, I’ve disconnected from someone and I am no longer useful to them. I have to pause and allow myself to be WITH them instead of AT them.
The greatest gift we can give anyone is to show them how to do “it” for themselves, whatever “it” is. You know the old thing of “don’t give someone a fish, because it just means you have to give them a fish again to save them from hunger. Teach them how to fish instead, because then they’ll have fish forever”? THAT’s what this clinic is and what our mentoring does – it’s our version of teaching you how to fish. And yes you’ll get lots of techniques when you need them, but every technique comes at the same time as an increase in your Feel for your horse.
OUR kind of mentoring is about recognizing the individuality of every horse and every person, the individuality of their goals and particularly the individuality of their Feel for their horse. We’re about helping the inside of you to feel the inside of your horse AND supporting you to know what to do with that.
And even if you’ve got grey hair, it’s not too late.
If you’re not interested in the older rider’s clinic that will start at the end of February, then drop off this article now. 🙂
The older riders clinic
We’ve designed it with the knowledge that safety looks different when we’re older and that our horse is willing to fill in for the changes that being older brings – WHEN it’s a two way street, when we listen to and support them too.
The mentors: We are 4 women who are all expansively Present when we’re working (lots of other times as well, but specially when we’re working with others.) We understand how to help YOU to know all the way to your bones how to make yourself reliably safe – that’s OUR goal – how to bring out your own ability that I PROMISE you that you have – how to bring forth your own skills, your own Presentness, your own Inner Guidance. And don’t let those words fool you if your mind is overworking or your emotions are in overwhelm, if you don’t have that inner guidance working now and you don’t even know what it means to be Present, let alone how to get there – none of us had that working either when we started. 🙂
Most people will get to know and work with most of us at some point, depending on your individual needs. We mentors all have a deep appreciation – gratitude actually – for the others’ particular skills and expertise and when it works best for you, we’ll bring another mentor to support you for a particular part of your journey.
The flexibility of a private clinic means you can slow it down
Setting the clinic for 12 weeks is just to make it clear what you get for your clinic – the amount of lessons (12), the amount of connected email mentoring conversations (roughly 5 in a week if you need them.) You’ll find that sometimes you’ll have more questions and need more support and sometimes less, but this is to give you the idea of what you can expect in terms of availability from your mentor.
But here’s the beauty of a private clinic – you can actually spread your clinic out and slow it down as much as you like, because it’s uniquely YOURS. In fact even for those not going to outside jobs, I suspect most people will have times of needing to take longer on a particular part of their clinic and we’re VERY happy about that. It’s good for you and good for your horse.
We did a Masterclass last year and used all the wonderful ways that technology provides us, to connect with students all over the world via live video, recorded video, Skype, Facebook Messenger. We’ll use all those again for this clinic. It’s not difficult to set up, we’ll help you if you haven’t done it before.
There is also the on-going connection with our beautiful community of like minded people via our student only forum and our live monthly get togethers that you have access to “forever”.
The cost of the clinic is $1200. If you’re in Australia you can netbank it. We’ve discovered a brilliant way of transferring money overseas that is heaps cheaper than Paypal or the banks. It’s called Transferwise. Or if you prefer to use the simplicity of Paypal, we can do that too.
There’s only 10 places initially and the interest is high. We thought this clinic would touch a big chord and it has. Email me. 🙂
Today’s photo: A whimsical one taken by me. Horse – owl. Horses – wisdom. FEEL is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Haha I feel another blog coming on!