Yesterday we talked about how trying to copy someone else’s way of being good with horses – no matter how good they are – will so often lead us to struggle and failure and to the experience of not feeling good enough.
If you haven’t seen that blog yet, here’s the link so that you can make sense of this one! 🙂
And I promised that I would share how each of the “teachers” on staff here experienced their connection with their horses so that you can get begin to get an idea of how it is possible to use the different kinds of feel and connection with your own horse.
We ALL – you and me – ALL, experience our connection with a horse in our own unique combination of the five Feels for a horse.
If you’ve not come across anything like this before, bear with me, because I’m going to lead you through noticing your OWN natural strengths tomorrow. Just getting your head around the fact that there ARE these different ways of feeling for your horse, in the context of the ladies on staff here is all that we’re doing today.
We are also a great example of how, as we focus on our own strengths, we become all rounders who are competent and confident in ALL the different ways of feeling for our horse…
… and get great results… more gently… more sensitively… and more effectively.
Caroline has natural Heart Feel strongly in her unique mixture of Feels for a horse. She also brings her qualifications and extensive training and skills as an Equine Behaviorist to this natural ability to see what is REALLY going on behind a problem or behavior.
People with a strong heart feel AUTOMATICALLY look for what’s going on, without blame or judgement and without making the horse or person wrong. The gentleness of this way of experiencing feel and connection with a horse or human is particularly lovely to watch in action.
Her Heart Feel enables her to nail what’s REALLY going on with a horse – BEHIND the behavior or problem and come up with solutions. Horses turn over to people with Heart Feel really easily – they feel confident enough to communicate, faster.
I can tell from conversations I have had with Caroline over the years that I have known her, that the sheer gift that she has with horses has been in evidence since she was a child and went into a stable with an incredibly dangerous stallion and “tamed” that horse that everyone else was so afraid of. That’s typical of people with a strong heart feel, animals positively respond to them very quickly. But because her type of natural skills and talents are not routinely celebrated in our scientifically based society, she was left feeling in her gentle ways, that she was “not enough”.
Please notice the important thing here. While Caroline was looking OUTSIDE her extraordinary gentleness for the answers to horses’ issues, she was feeling that she was not enough.
These days, Caroline knows the usefulness of that incredible gentleness of her heart feel, all the way to her bones. She knows how to feel it and how to best use it – and that knowing gives her an incredible all round competence.
She is certainly more than enough now and brings the skills that she had learned in that journey to help people here find strength and satisfaction in their natural talent.
One of Narel’s natural strengths is Energetic Feel, which she has extended with her experience in shamanic healing and animal communication. She is also an astrologer. She brings these energetic gifts and talents and experiences and training and combines those with a deep commitment to our approach to horsemanship and to empowering people.
To get an idea of how energetic feel works with horses, think of the way that a school of fish move together in absolute harmony – fast or slow, whoosh… they just all turn in the same direction at the same time – it seems with one mind. Using energetic feel ultimately brings that same ability to flow together, horse and rider together as one in a beautiful harmony.
The great riding master/teachers are describing energetic feel when they talk about the circuit of energy or the circuit of power between horse and rider. That’s pretty much a great description of what energy Feel feels like when it’s in balance. When it’s NOT in balance, it can feel pent up, stuck, stagnant or even explosive.
Energetic feel can be difficult to describe to those who do not experience it routinely. Narel says “Who on earth would believe it possible that our atmosphere was “full” of sound and pictures if they didn’t have a radio or television or phone to turn on? You prove the existence of those frequencies by tuning in and receiving those images and sound so that you can actually see them and hear them. Those frequencies are still there, even though we can’t see them or hear them with our ears unless the machine is turned on”.
People too, can have natural talent to pick up different frequencies like a radio and television can and that is Narel’s particular area of expertise.
In her unique mixture of Feeling for a horse, Holly has a strength in physical feel – an ability to kinesthetically feel the harmony (or not) between a horse and their human, i.e. to physically feel in her own body what’s going on in her horse. When Physical Feel is in balance, it enables us to feel the horse’s stuck spots and resistances – even to know their aches and pains in our own body and to be able use that knowing to support a horse’s athleticism.
Those with physical feel as a natural talent are often very athletic and well coordinated when they are young, but later in life can be overwhelmed with aches and pains and discomfort and wonder where all that feeling good stuff went.
When Physical Feel is one of our natural talents, we can pick up a rein and Feel what’s happening in the horses body in our own body. We can use it to help our horse to release physical braces and resistances and help them to regain or even find a new level of athleticism and health and strength and balance and beauty in movement. When it’s NOT in balance, we can get stuck in aches and pains and body resistance.
Even if you’ve lost your own athleticism, you can get rid of most, if not all of those aches and pains and find your athleticism again when you learn how to use this talent as the gift that it is.
I have become very comfortable with the practicality of my strengths in mental, emotional and physical feel, although I work in all five feels these days.
I think it is my background as a widely trained alternative therapist that is responsible for me discovering how to teach Feel, when most people consider that you have to be born with good feel for a horse. Well we ARE born with good feel for a horse really, it’s just that most of us weren’t taught how to use it.
We’ve already talked about Heart Feel and Energetic Feel and Physical Feel with the other ladies, so I’ll focus on the ones of mine that we haven’t already talked about.
Mental feel, is a wonderful natural problem solving ability when we know how to use it. When we learn how to LISTEN to it, instead of trying to shut it up, the mind quietens down so much more easily – then the ideas and thoughts for solving a problem flow easily and usefully and often with great joyfulness. Most people with good mental feel enjoy the more intellectual problem solving approach. You will often find us taking notes at clinics and really enjoying lecture type presentations.
When we have a natural talent in mental feel but haven’t been taught to use it like the gift that it is, we can just about worry ourselves into an early grave. I learned young how to shut my mind up by reading myself to sleep, otherwise I doubt that I would have slept much at all. In my healing work I have met a lot of people who had trouble sleeping from their minds running at 100 miles an hour.
Believe it or not … yet… 🙂 the answer to every problem that we worry about, is already in our lives. Worrying becomes a thing of the past when we learn how to find that answer easily and learning to be gentle on ourselves becomes sooo… much easier when we learn to use this feel for the gift that it is.
Then there is Emotional Feel. Horses are excellent emotional communicators, so this is a big one. We all experience emotions, but those of us who have a strong natural talent in Emotional Feel can sometimes be easily overwhelmed by the force of our emotions, especially when we haven’t learned to use that sensitivity as the gift that it is.
Horses and humans both – our emotional well being is an absolutely fundamental foundation for physical well being. You will not have physical well being for either horse or human for too long – indeed you cannot have long term physical well-being unless you have emotional well-being.
Tomorrow is the day for that freebie I promised you. I’ll lead you to notice and experience how YOU experience feel and connection to your horse in the context of these different ways of feeling and then I’ll give you a way to support that journey to discovery and mastery of the uniqueness that is you.
Please tell me on the comments below… Is this opening up new possibilities for you? Can you see the possibilities of feeling confident and competent in YOUR OWN UNIQUE WAY of feeling for your horse? Which of those natural talents resonates with you so far?
This “feeling not good enough” is so pervasive in our society as well as in the horse industry and is the cause of so many social problems. Just look around and notice what would be solved with everyone secure and confident in their own way of feeling for others. Please help me to make a difference in the world and share this link with your friends and on Facebook.
And of course, comment below!