Let’s talk about how beliefs form our reality.
Whether we know it to be true or not yet, I expect pretty much all of us have heard that we attract what we focus on. The same thing applies to beliefs too. Even when a belief is not a universal truth, it’s true for us and because of that, there’s plenty of fuel that happens around us to justify it. That’s a big concept that deserves a lot of “holyshitisthatreallytrues?”
Here’s a simple example of what I mean – the dog and cat in the photo.
Someone who had a crappy experience of a dog being aggressive with cats, who had formed a belief that dogs weren’t to be trusted with cats – they would notice all kinds of things happening around them that would justify that belief. That belief would become their reality – dogs would be untrustworthy with cats. They would see example after example of that untrustworthiness that would be re-created over and over again around them in such a way that they would genuinely be able to say “Look! It’s just as I said, dogs can’t be trusted with cats!”
Their belief may have been formed by that old saying “fight like cats and dogs”, or by someone else’s unfortunate experience of dogs and cats disliking each other.
It’s not just their perception, it’s their reality, their lived experience that dogs and cats don’t get on.
But is that really the whole story?
To my young friend Sara, whose dog and cat that is in the picture, that’s simply not true. Her reality is completely different – that problem, that behavior simply doesn’t happen around her. What she believes means that the lovely energy between dogs and cats is re-created around her over and over again. And again, that’s not her perception, it’s her lived experience.
This is a simple example of a belief forming someone’s reality. The belief that dogs aren’t to be trusted around cats is just a part of someone’s experience and no big deal.
But what about the woman who’s yearning for a soul mate on the one hand, but who has the belief that “all men are bastards” running in the subconscious of her mind? What about, like the dog and cat example, that belief is creating her reality and attracting untrustworthy men into her life? It may not even have been her own bad experience that formed that belief. It could have been a mother’s or a friend’s experience, a shocking documentary – there’s all kinds of ways we form beliefs.
Again, this is not just her perception when that belief is running in her subconscious – it is her lived experience – her reality being created over and over again.
Holy shit… could that really be true? Could someone’s experience of – their reality of – “all men are bastards” really be changed by getting curious about the truth or not of that belief?
I can feel someone cross with me (probably more than one someone) thinking this sounds like victim blaming. Bear with me, I promise you, it’s not about blaming anyone. It’s about taking our power back and mannn…. we are going to be taking our power back.
When that same woman has one of those ahhaaa moments of seeing the truth about men for herself, when the truth comes welling up from the inside of her, then her experience changes. Everything around her changes and her soul mate marches closer or walks around the corner and taps her on the shoulder.
Can you see how thoroughly “all men are bastards” was blocking her creation of a soul mate? The fear and the reality of that belief would make it pretty near impossible hey?
Think about that thing you’ve been working on throughout this book – what belief could be getting in the way of your ability to create what you want, have what you want and do what you want? What belief that is not a universal truth that is true for everyone, everywhere, is getting in the way of your happiness, causing that round and round in circles, feeling crappy, struggling stuff? What beliefs need a hug?
There’s no need to tear your hair out searching for these subconscious thought patterns and beliefs though, because the whole time you’ve been reading this book, you’ve been creating a habit of being open to whatever truth you need to know and understand, in order to create or change this thing that you care so much about.
Here’s an opportunity to move through that change place. Drop into awareness of your outward breath, smile a little and be curious “What belief could be getting in the way of this thing that you have been creating and changing throughout this book?” That simple curiosity will set the process in motion. Notice what pops into your mind over the next few days and ask yourself “Is that a universal truth to everyone, everywhere – or not? Are there people who experience exceptions to that?” If the answer’s yes, you might like to give that belief an appreciative hug, thank it for its service and kiss it goodbye.
Smiley goosebumps…
See how fast you set that up? A LOT less than 30 seconds to set up an ahhaaa moment that will change your life…
There’s no coincidence I called this book “Holy Shit is That Really True?” We’ll continue weaving this important belief stuff through the rest of the book, but if you’re in a hurry, bring this into a live event – it’s very powerful stuff!
Photo: Lua and Nala photographed by my young friend Sara.
