The word “key” is bandied around pretty much meaninglessly these days. I’m using this word today to describe our miraculous ability to create and change what it is that we care about. Our own version of Heart Feel is like turning a key, “snick” as the door clicks open.
Our willingness to understand others, no matter what they’ve done or how badly we perceive their behavior, is that key.
Some of you with a strong natural talent for Heart Feel will already experience an openness to understand others and a willingness to see what’s really going on behind a problem or another’s behavior – and that makes it easy for you to not get stuck in judging things right or wrong or getting stuck in blame.
However, most of you (like me) will have had some of that openness and willingness blocked by life experiences. That stuck in judgment and blame of myself and others was one of those biiiggg change places that kept me going round and round in circles until I got it.
I found it really hard to look past someone’s behavior to understand what was really going on. I’d get so caught up in me being right and them being wrong and feeling crappy about their behavior. The thing is, our feelings are just the message. Those crappy feelings are our guidance about how to get what we care about creating or changing and if we still feel crappy then that just means we haven’t found the truth yet. Because as soon as we understand the message of our feelings, pfft, they disappear. The message is received and we don’t need the crappy feelings any more. If you haven’t experienced the speed and sheer relief of this yet, today with this experience of your version of Heart Feel, might just be your day. <3
If being open to understanding others is not part of your natural way of feeling, then like me, you’ll get to choose whether you want to be willing to see what’s really going on behind a problem or behavior or situation.
Let’s get started.
Think about that thing you’ve been working on – that thing that you care about creating or changing.
And let’s go hunting with our inner guidance for the truth and the solution to this change place and find some lightness of spirit on the way.
While you’re reading, slow down and read the following words slowly and deliberately.
Pay gentle attention to your outward breath for a few breaths.
That’s it… feel me smiling, you know the drill by now… reading sloooowwww…. and at the same time notice the way that the lower part of your ribs move on that outward breath – the way that the ribs just kind of squash the air from your lungs. And you’re not doing that on purpose, you’re just smiling a little bit and noticing for one breath…
… and another breath…
… and another…
Still with your gentle attention on your outward breath, notice what changes on the inside of you when you smile with your eyes just a little. Ahhh even after four exercises like this, you can still feel the ease of the smile hey? Just notice the effect of that smileyness for a breath.
… and another breath…
… and another…
Just noticing and curious again – this time about how your Heart Feel fits with your other ways of feeling.
Think about that thing that you care about that you’ve chosen to work on and notice what changes in your body and your mind.
Smiling a little on that outward breath, just curious about whatever changes within your body and mind as you’re thinking about this thing that you care about.
You’re already open to the idea that what you’re feeling and what you’re thinking may not be all yours. You may not know this as a truth yet, but you’re curious as to whether that’s true or not.
You already have the Magic Questions tucked in the back of your mind and curiosity is all you need, to start moving through this change place with them. “Whose feeling is this? What do I need to know or do about it? For myself? For or about someone else?”
You’re already open to the idea that our success at creating or changing this thing that we care so much about, depends on us understanding others. You may not know this as a truth yet, but you’re curious about whether that’s true or not.
So as we think about this thing that we care about creating or changing, notice any right or wrong or blaming thoughts or crappy feelings about others or about the situation that are your message about how you can move through this change place. Judgement, blame and crappy feelings just mean that we haven’t found the truth yet.
If you’re tangled up in that right, wrong, blame thing, are you willing to understand others? Our Caroline with the beautiful Heart Feel explains “are you willing to step into someone else’s shoes for just a moment, and see things from their perspective?” Don’t try to understand or look for it, just go for the willingness feeling, then the truth and understanding will come in perfect time.
What does smiley willingness to understand others feel like?
And if you can’t find willingness, don’t worry, just smile at your reluctance anyway. I’ve got a great idea for dealing with that coming up.
Breathe and smile with curiosity about whatever comes up as you allow your mind to wander around this thing that you care about creating or changing.
Smiling a little and breathing…
And another breath…
And another…
Just noticing and curious, about all the feelings in your body and thoughts that cross your mind.
Being curious about “Whose feelings and thoughts are these?
If you notice any thoughts of judging right and wrong and blame, whose judgement and blame is it?
If you notice any feelings of hopelessness or anguish or despair, whose hopelessness and despair is it?
What do I need to know? For myself? Or what do I need to know or do for about someone else that will help me to move through my change place on the way to that thing I care about creating or changing? Is there anything I need to do, any action to take?
More breathing…
Check that small gentle smile. If you’re frowning you’re trying too hard, let that go with a breath.
Still smiling a little and noticing that outward breath…
and another…
Noticing and observing and smiling until you’ve gotten curious about all the feelings about this thing that you care about creating or changing.
Ahhhh and smiling for just another breath…
… and another breath…
… and another…
Ahhhh…
When you’ve finished being curious about each thought and feeling that’s come up, have a wriggle and a stretch and a walk around the room, feeling the way that your feet are flexing on the floor or the ground as you walk. You might find a different way of moving after doing this little exercise a few times. Don’t be surprised at cracking and crunching noises as joints come back into place.
By this fifth exercise, you’re probably already finding it a little easier to find the smiley feeling which is such an important part of eventually being able to flow with your inner guidance in the moment and figure out your Truths for yourself. Don’t be shy though, bring any questions you have into one of our Live Events.- I’ve put a link to info about the free ones – what and when they’re happening – here
I’ve opened the comment section on this page so you can ask questions and share experiences.
Today’s photo: Now there’s unconditional love in action. This photo of her dog Beau, who is a natural caretaker for the calves and other animals on her farm, was taken by Avis Falcinella from Perth in Western Australia.
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