Every … single … bit … of fear we experience is a guidance to the past, the present or the future and when we use it as the guidance it IS, well… a calm quiet oasis of peacefulness is the least you’ll be able to find – at ANY time of the year.
I’ve had one of those enormous heart opening insights this morning. This year has been full of them and the last two months has been just about non stop.
Hold the upcoming thought about the crazy lady until I’ve finished talking. 🙂
Fear is so special. It is SUCH a blessing.
Yeah that’s what I said, hold the crazy lady thought for a bit.
Without it, I’d walk too close to that crumbling cliff edge or step out in front of that bus without looking; I’d do something with my horse that she wasn’t ready for and one or the other of us would get tight or tense and have that tension as the foundation of our relationship – or maybe I’d even get hurt. Without all the subtle nuances of fear, I’d miss the opportunity to expand our relationship by listening to / feeling her.
And if I HADN’T experienced that anxiety yesterday, if I HADNT gone hunting for the cause and found it (thanks Caroline and Sue for the support!) I would have missed this opportunity to draw you into the quiet, calming and peaceful oasis that your horse can be today.
Sometimes these nuances of fear are so familiar that we don’t even realize how much they get in the way of what we really want to experience. In fact, some of these nuances of fear are so familiar that we can even forget why we wanted to be with a horse in the first place.
There’s this little wild caught brumby called Joe, 400 kms away near Albury, that is prompting so much of my thoughts around how wonderful fear is at the moment. I’ve been invited to present at a big international horse expo and he’s the horse that I found when I advertised for a troubled horse to film a lesson with for the expo.
He was so scared that he had never voluntarily touched a human – well, not before that day anyway. If he was boxed into a corner, he would submit to being caught, but he’d literally shake the whole time he was having his feet trimmed or whatever.
Filming day – it was about 7 minutes after getting into the paddock when Dawn made HER breakthrough into bubbling with happiness. It took her 7 minutes to go from anxiety and tension to bubbling with happiness and she did that by using her fear as the guidance it was, the BLESSING it is, that makes it possible for her to keep herself and Joe BEing and FEELing safe.
7 minutes…
And with THAT leadership – this little horse made HIS breakthrough into happiness in just under an hour.
In just under one hour, he reached out and touched her – reached out and touched a human voluntarily for the very first time in his life – and he bubbled with happiness doing it.
It doesn’t happen by just wishing it to happen either. It takes making changes. Horses know us so deeply – it took Joe feeling Dawn’s mental and emotional commitment to the new ways of dealing with him and then he could start stepping out from behind his own fear.
This bubbling with happiness is now Dawn and Joe’s foundation for their relationship together and it came from the blessing of fear.
For me this morning my fear has brought me to a comfort zone of peacefulness, with a calm confidence that all is well in my world – ahhh the blessing that is fear…
Our ability to find a calm peaceful oasis when we want to and a support for each other that’s like a warm hug across distance – and to be able to do that no matter what’s going on in our lives – started with these horse lessons.
i wish i had felt fear this morning as i had my head down mixing feed in dish ,knowing my mare has approaching i didn’t look up and she bite me on the ear. I know she can do this and am usual wary of her.
I’m sorry to hear that Sue – commiserations for your sore ear! BUT.. I find things like this are massive opportunities for change – specially when you’re as brave as you just were and wrote in to me. You see, if things are going along swimmingly, then we don’t need to change much to increase our happiness, but when something like that happens and you think to yourself – is it REALLY supposed to be like this? Do I really have to be wary of my horse all the time to avoid getting hurt? And here it is, a coincidence that you have me on the other end of your computer with the answers? I don’t believe in coincidences. Have a think about what you’d LIKE your relationship with your horse to be – best buddies looking after each other, maybe that oasis of peacefulness I talked about in that blog – whatever it is that you and she want together – and then go look at Fast Track to Brilliant Riding. I don’t know any other program in the world that can give you what that program can. The faster you start, the faster you’ll start getting rid of the need for that wariness and both you and your mare can start relaxing with each other and having fun.
Thanks for your reply Jen. I am doing the fast track just not fast enough. I have to get my act together, I have eased off work so now will have more time.
Aha! I’ve just twigged who you are – the email address threw me! lol! Come on into the student forum sunshine, you’ll see the link to it down the right hand side of every blog page. It’s the picture of a bunch of people in my hay shed. If you’ve forgotten your log in name and password email me and I’ll re-set it manually for you. There’s sooo much support in there, including brilliant and I DO mean brilliant teachers. We don’t like to push people faster than they’re ready for (like a horse really!) but if you ask for guidance, we’ll be more than happy to give it to you.
brilliant as usual. well done Jenny
That’s nice Mary and thanks! but not everyone always thinks I’m brilliant! lol!
“Our ability to find a calm peaceful oasis when we want to and a support for each other that’s like a warm hug across distance”
This is really a lovely and great place to be in. This support has carried me through a lot , specially this last months and it is life changing 🙏
It’s been life changing for me too. <3
Loved this article, it expresses so well what I feel and have never quite been able to put into words. Thank you so much.
I’m glad it resonated Diana. 🙂