I’ve had a stack of emails from my last blog with people loving the story and asking for more of Pignon’s Magic – so here is what I think is his biggest key to success.
He allows the horse to say “no.”
I can see some of the puzzled faces already. “How can allowing a horse to say “no” create the kind of magic that Frederic produces day after day – specially under the pressures of public performance?”
It’s because when we push past the horse’s “no”, when we push past their limits in this moment, THAT is what creates tension and gets in the way of the horse learning to say YES.
The Magic gets created when our horse finds pleasure in saying YES as a normal way of being with us.
THAT is what is behind that flamboyant freedom of expression in every horse that Frederic works with. THAT is what is behind the Magic of every horse touched by Pignon.
When we push past our horse’s limits we create stress, stress creates tension and all our lovely dreams of poetry in motion and amazing togetherness go flying out the window.
Frederic Pignon’s magic is created because he creates the HABIT of the horse saying YES by noticing when they have reached their limits and not pushing beyond it and when he does push beyond it by mistake, he stops and says sorry very meaningfully – I still have the vision of him paused with his hand on the horse’s forehead apologizing – and then he goes back to something they CAN say YES to.
So how does he know when a horse has reached their limits and is about to say no?
FEEL.
It’s easy to see with our eyes AFTER the horse has said no – there’s big and small ways they say no. All resistance is the horse saying no, just about all those behaviors that we don’t want, are the horse saying no. Some of the signs are subtle, like their eye crinkled with anxiety or their nose scrunched up. With Oliver yesterday I noticed him gulp when I pushed him past his limit by mistake. I had to stop and say sorry and rethink how to ask for what I wanted.
But Magic is created in NOT pushing past the limits – in knowing where the limits are and stopping BEFORE we get there. And how does Frederic do that?
FEEL.
And FEEL is widely regarded as either unteachable (I suspect Frederic, like most great horse people was born with it) or you expect to spend years and years getting enough experience to develop it.
The good news is that they’re wrong. Feel IS teachable. And you can learn that Magic Touch simply and easily. And there’s a link to some free videos that will get you started with the foundation of FEEL. They are interesting little lessons – simple but with layers of meaning in them.
I would like to extend a huge thanks to Paulette at Ribbleton Warmbloods who brought Frederic and Magali out to Australia and put in an enormous amount of organization to bring us such a wonderful clinic experience.
Here’s a photo of Magali translating these principles to a Grand Prix dressage test. OMGoodness look at the spectacular movement of this horse!
The boy at Summerhill who never went to class:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o58xTHGYzIY
He’s not the only one though.
His own reaction about how they let him have NO reading or writing at all, was interesting though – he didn’t understand how they could have allowed him to never learn to read or write. It’s not something I would be comfortable with either. It sounds like they did a social experiment on him! If I translate it for a horse, I would be wanting the practicality of them to be able to live comfortably in THIS world, without sudden fear/trauma from being ill-prepared. It doesn’t have to be conflict around it – there is always a Third Way… 🙂
Summerhill has been going successfully for over 90 years now. Educational fads come and go, but the Summerhill philosophy has stood the test of time and continues to be implemented in much the same way that it was when A.S. Neill founded the school. It continues to turn out fully-functional young adults, as the man in the video was, despite his unusual shortcomings – he accomplished so much even before he really learned to read. His shortcoming was that he couldn’t read properly. But think of the shortcomings he DIDN’T have: lack of confidence, fear of the world, boredom, lack of support, listlessness, dependency, depression, etc. etc. etc. The unschooling movement has grown, and there are many more schools nowadays which allow children similar freedoms. I think Summerhill IS the Third Way. As A.S. Neill said: “Freedom, not license.” The two apparent opposites are license and rigidity. But the Third Way is freedom. And freedom, as it says in the video, is indivisible.
I think of license as the untrammeled liberty to DO anything you want regardless of its effect on others. Whereas freedom is the ability to create a safe space for oneself where one can’t be bullied or pushed around. That’s how we are with our horses – we say: I agree not to do things to you that you don’t want, and in turn, I am going to create a safe space for myself so that you don’t make me feel threatened. And they much the same thing to us. Human children need a huge amount of safe space – physically and emotionally and intellectually and creatively. There will be children who will say no to whatever curriculum or agendum the adult has in mind, and will continue to say no for an extended period of time. Not because the adult is handling the situation badly and needs to learn a better technique, but because the child has more important things to do. I think the man in the video just had more important things to do as a child.
But the grown up child regretted not learning to read or write, he was embarrassed and he needed it. It sounded to me like there was a whole other story in there. If I put this in a horse context, I can see all kinds of things that could be done to help that horse, starting with “What was REALLY going on behind that child’s refusal to learn to read or write?” Ahhh well, unless I get to interview the guy some day I guess I won’t know HIS answer. I agree with you – most schools could do with some VAST improvements! Just like most horse training could do with VAST improvements! 🙂
And I firmly believe that children (especially in school where there is less of the balm of love to heal mistakes) should be allowed to say No also. Even if it means they don’t do maths for a year. Or more.
If they truly do the child who doesn’t want to do Maths the Pignon way, it would not take a year of no Maths. The child would so enjoy the learning process that they would be doing Maths in no time!
I bet they would! But you have to go into it with the attitude that you are at least willing for the child never to do math again, otherwise there will be subconscious pressure. You can’t use it as another technique to get the child to do what you want. Just like Imke Spilker says: you go into the pasture with your horse, put the halter on (no leadrope) and invite him to go with you. If he says no, you can ask pretty please once or twice more, and if he still says no, you take off the halter, give him a delicious treat, and let him go. In your heart, you have to actually be willing to let him go for as long as he chooses – otherwise it’s just a technique. When I first started with Spilker, I thought of it as a technique that I just didn’t quite have the hang of yet. And then I realized that it wasn’t a technique or a method at all – it was about letting go of all that.
I speak from experience – one of my daughters simply refused to do any math for the whole of high school. I mean she did NO MATH for the whole of high school, and precious little for middle school either. Only a tiny bit of ACT prep. She scraped through her ACTs well enough on language to get into a good college, did a fluff math course for her requirement, then wanted to go to grad school – she coached herself in math for the GREs and did well. She’s graduating with her masters next month. A.S. Neill’s Summerhill in England is a great example of a school where kids may refuse to learn anything. A lot of kids go to class and enjoy it, but there are some who spend their entire time there not going to any classes. Yet they still succeed in life. Giving freedom doesn’t mean anything unless we really give it.
Thank you Jenny, I am going to revisit the 9 keys again just to refresh my memory. And I think we all have that feel – if and when we choose to pay attention. We are aware of all those not-quite-rights when, or after, they happen (our horses saying no) and you offer us (your students) knowledge, tips and insights into how to get that wonderful connection back again with our horses – building their confidence and ours! I love all that you teach and share! Am so grateful 🙂
We certainly DO all have that Pignon Magic feel – we’ve seen that within our community over and over again hey? People who consider themselves ordinary people being extraordinary? We don’t all have the translation of it into the practical – THAT’s what we have to learn – but we do make it fun hey?
I wonder if the freedom to Say “yes” is connected to their innate nature to be free. Each time a yes is given by the horse to us (and we acknowledge it) a bit of magic occurs. After all when the horse shows us yes, exhuberance and understanding is exemplified. Could what we perceive as a horse’s “no” Is really a “yes” in the sense that the horses is Is showing us what they can do or need to do at this moment because they either don’t understand, afraid, confused, disconnected, feel unsafe, unsure, or comfortable where I’m at? I too recently was able to see Frederic and Magali and was blown away by their commitment to connect with the horse as a horse. Then I watched them help the horse learn that they had the freedom of choice to express his horseyness in a safe manner. My bucket list too is to someday go to France to work with them.
Thank you for your post it is always an inspiration.
I’m not sure Barbara, “connected to their innate nature to be free” is an interesting concept. We humans though have the same need too, though – specially us women. In the rest of your post here you’ve touched a bit on the next bit of Pignon Magic that I’m going to write about! 🙂
I have a a rescue horse. Our journey together has been slow, just building trust and confidence over the past 18 months. There was a lot of flat-out No! In the beginning, now tho there’s a genuine acceptance and occasionally a reluctant ‘yes’, but it’s almost as though when he works through that and shows me that it could have easily been a flat out ‘no’ if he wanted to demonstrate that. I feel so much gratitude and proud that he’s willing to try.
That sounds like a very lucky horse Elaine! That willingness, that try is what Pignon does so well, so fast, from his deep connection with them. And your gratitude is lovely too – in 21 days to a Quiet Mind, we teach that appreciation is the most powerful force for positive change.
That is so interesting Jenny! I didn’t find it at all odd that allowing the horse to say no could lead to such a magical connection. Indeed in it’s basest form, if we don’t give horses choices then we are trapping them….
However, the more that I work with little Robin, the more I realise that he has learned to say “I don’t think so sunshine!” (must have some Australian blood in him somewhere 😉 ). He is very quick to learn, and has learned in the past to get people to give him treats for pretty much everything, but particularly for being caught in the field. Over the last few days, he has comfortably transitioned to coming to be caught with the scary halter, not the red headcollar that he came with, and without needing to have a treat. In fact he looked quite shocked when I produced one for no particular reason as I left the yard last night, having not had any for a few days because he had been demanding them by invading my space!
That’s what I love about horses – they are always teaching you something!
Chris
For other people’s information, Robin is newly with you. 🙂
Robin’s Aussie interpretation – how priceless! I was only thinking this morning after UT and Bucky nicked off through a mistakenly open gate – “Please don’t choose NOW to show me who you really are by nicking off out the NEXT open gate and careering around the neighbour’s flower beds!” And “what price is “allowed to say no”, NOW?” and bless them without wanting themselves to be caught, they walked/trotted back up to the original open gate and went through very easily. Bless them!
Since what he was saying was really a no, there’s a baby step before that, that will allow the real robin to start shining.
Lovely. I will be reading and rereading this posting several times, at least. Thanks for doing this.
You’re welcome Kathy. It’s deeper than first glance hey?
I started allowing my horses to say ‘No’ seven years ago after reading Imke Spilker’s book ‘Communicative Horses’. The common view was that if they were allowed to say no, they’d never agree to anything. But they like to do things and say yes when given the courtesy of being allowed to refuse. My mare’s start in riding has all progressed with her being allowed to say no at any time.
Lovely June! And I know that you bring that to your feet trimming for your clients too – which must make you worth your weight in gold!
Yes, it took a little longer for me to implement this with clients’ horses, because when I started, I had self-imposed pressure to ‘git r done.’ It was two very anxious thoroughbreds who taught me the value of accepting no. They had had bad experiences with the farrier in the past, and after my first visit, which didn’t go well, I guess I must’ve done some version of QM, and I came up with the plan that I would stand away a few feet from them, offer to take a tiny step forward, and retreat instantly if I saw an ear get a little pinned or a neck getting tense or something. It worked like a charm – I ended up getting a lot of work done – and at the end one of these standoffish, nervous horses actually hugged me. Since then, they have become VERY used to me, and if either of them is feeling a little off that day, they’re very much – “Nope! we know you – you’re a softy! – no foot for you today! You won’t mind, will you?!” So it’s not all wine and roses, but it’s better than nervous diarrhea and kicking and running away.
And I knew one farrier who would rope them and throw them to the ground to get their shoes on. Not mine! Shocking trauma when you think about it and so bloody unnecessary.
I saw Frederic in Perth – a life changing experience. One of the things he says in their book “Gallop to Freedom” which I have highlighted and underlined is “……..every time a horse submits to pressure, whether subtle or overt, he is diminished.” (pg 15) This is so relevant to the Haltering lessons that I’m currently working on in Fast Track. I have so much to learn, but am loving the journey which is teaching me a lot of Patience. 😉
That’s a beautiful quote. The Patience thing is interesting. I call Impatience a Not Quite Right – there’s something to know or do about it and often it’s because there is a faster way than the way we’re doing it. And like Frederic says too, honouring the horse’s limits might seem slow in the beginning but it ends up REALLY fast. 🙂