I’m planning on knocking your socks off during this book – showing you step by step how to bring the things that you care about – big or small – to fruition and how to do it easily.
So let’s get started on the Care Factor part of this wonderful journey.
Let your mind wander and notice what you care about. Maybe it’s something irritating like you’re always the one who ends up with the crappy meal at the restaurant. Or at the other end of the scale, is it healing for yourself or a loved one? Is there something you want to achieve with your business, your job, your love life? For my horse loving friends, this is where you can think about what you’re looking for with your horse, what you want to achieve, what you want to feel like, what you want them to feel like when you’re together.
Maybe someone is being a serious pain in the butt or you’re in a difficult relationship? Maybe you care more about other people’s problems than your own? It could be as “small” as caring about a clean house and someone keeps making a mess, or it could be as large as the state of the oceans.
Maybe you desperately want something – financial or food security. Are the big world problems like the environment or integrity in government or war or violence the things you really care about? Or is it something in your own life? Whatever it is – there’s no Care Factor too big or too small – just allow your mind to wander and identify the things you personally really care about.
This isn’t what other people care about either, or what you think you should care about – this list of things is unique to you. And here’s a hint – they may be the things that make you feel angry, upset or scared.
Don’t worry if it feels so big that it’s not within your influence to do anything about it or if you think it’s not your job to change it. It can even be something so small you think it’s ridiculous to care so much – just notice what you care about. We’ll be talking about the “how” later.
And yeah we’ll have a laugh together in a live event one day, when we look back at the things that we considered too big or too hard or we thought we were powerless about.
Why don’t you write them down so you can look back on it later? And if you’d like to share it with us, you can put it in the comments.
I’ve opened up comments for this page so you can start sharing your journey with like minded people.
Just a reminder to leave your browser window open when you pause reading. If you close it by mistake, you can find it again easily with the list of pages on the Happiness Spinning Wheel. If you haven’t got that yet, it’s sent by email on Day 2 and it pops up on these pages occasionally after that.
This photo was doing the rounds on Facebook. There’s always support available somewhere, no matter how unusual. Click on the picture below for the details of the next free live event .
I care about my two horses and whether they are happy living with me and healthy.
I also care about my health as I get older I need to take more care of myself I work myself too hard.
I care about my partner who is stuck in the past and I’d like to help him.
What am I caring about at the moment: I think holding my connection with Boston even when outside influences and old patterns are threatening overwhelm for one or both of us. We are getting there – go us!
For me caring is a challenge due to the fact that I can care to much and it changes into the emotion of worries and fear. Caring in a healthy way is a learning lesson for me.
Hugs from the Netherlands, Monic
I’ve got a lot of things I care about, and been feeling very stuck on a lot of the important ones for a very long time. So looking forward to seeing where this takes me!
I think it would be great to have a comment option on each page Jenny, if it’s not too hard to create (lol).
I care about horses enjoying their being with us as much as we do. And when I get signals they don’t,I try to change something but I’m not always sure what is needed.
Not knowing if I found a home for one horse, whether the other one will be OK alone.
Carer fatigue, is what I was advised by my farrier I was suffering. It has just been so, so hard with relentless wet weather and I care about complaining about that as other parts of our country are in severe drought and fires. Continual hoof issues due to the wet, eg. mud fever, thrush, white line disease. No matter how much cleaning and treating. Now advised my older girl (28) has been diagnosed with chronic laminitis from a different farrier, age related apparently. At this point, what I most care about is to have happy, healthy pain free horses.
The mud fever I can help with easily. Diatomaceous earth rubbed in knocks it off and in just a few days the hair is growing back. If you subscribed to comments, you should also get another couple of comments.
I feel isolated and alone a lot of the time when working with my horses. What I care about is finding a small tribe of like-minded people to work/play together, in-person with our horses using energy in connection, communication, and co-healing.
Watch for my emails then Mel, I must have been a mind reader. <3
To have enough money to stay in our house for as long as is right for us and to do everything we would like to do too. To be happy healthy and strong and really enjoy my life from now on. To help all my family to be really happy and healthy. To help my horses be really happy and healthy, to develop a truly fabulous relationship with them and to have fabulous, fun and very successful experiences competing with them. To be more organised!
Oooo I wonder which thing you’ll pick to work on through the book? <3
I feel sometimes that I care too much about other people, their thoughts, feelings, wellbeing, often at the expense of my own.
I care about finding the inner resources to stick at my project(s) until it (they) become successful, so that I don’t have to be either struggling financially, or with time to do the things I’d like to, riding, exploring friendships.
I get really annoyed with myself that when I put in a stressful situation where I don’t already have the “right” answer, I’ll usually make the wrong one (when I look at the situation in hindsight).
I care that I get too intense for people and scare them off, making long term friendships hard to maintain. This is probably related to me putting other people’s needs first, at the expense of mine, in some attempt to keep the relationship going.
For my horses, I care that I’m not light and easy to carry when I ride them. I care that I don’t spend the time with them to develop their fitness and strength so they find it easy to work with me. I care that I can’t solve their Qld Itch no matter what I try.
Then I get overwhelmed by how many times I’ve tried to make all this stuff work, and it hasn’t, or at least hasn’t in a way that my soul feels.
Every time I look at where I am and what I’ve done, built and achieved, against what it “could” be for the effort I put in, I feel that I’ve failed.
And I care about you. <3
Jenny: Language alert folks. Don’t read if big swearing bothers you. This lady needs to vent.
I am fucking pissed off as hell right now and have been for most of my life. I am 63 this year and struggled my entire life with everything. Treated for major depressive disorder with suicidal tendencies for over 30 years. Tried to kill myself several times and couldn’t even do that right!!!
Six months ago I was diagnosed as Autistic with ADHD. No surprise to me. I was seeing a really lovely counsellor only for her to leave and assign me to another counsellor who basically couldn’t give a flying fuck about me. The last appointment she kept me waiting for 15mins then bursts out the door with another person and declares they are going to chase the ducks that were wondering around the building and leaves me sitting for another 15mins until her to return. We proceeded with a 20min session where she decided my 6 months of sessions were up 9two months early I might ad) and exited me from the program. That was that.
And right now one of my mares horsing up to my gelding who took a chunk out of her hind leg and then she kicked at him but got her foot caught in the dog wire fence because I can’t afford to change the fucking fencing or even fix it. I got so angry I had to leave before I ended up smashing everything and couldn’t think about attending to the wound because I was so fucking angry.
At this moment in time I HATE everything in my life.
I do love my 3 horses and my dog and I go away from them when I (frequently) feel like this. I have completely calm down before I go near them again.
I purchased this book hoping to continue the journey I started last year but got caught up in other shit instead.
I am not interested in anyone’s comments to this spiel. I am just venting because the invitation was there.
Now I will attend to the wound.
Wrapping you in a metaphysical hug! I have often thought that ADHD was Physical Feel in overwhelm. It will be interesting to see what you think about that by the end of the book.
I have numerous things in my list that I care about, I think the two main ones at the moment would be : 1. Working out why Bumblebee has been lame for over 6 months and no real answers as yet with the vets.
2. Change how I respond and react to verbal attacks to my face and behind my back from so called “friends” that are also artists in my home town. Their words cut deep, but also have a ripple effect that affects not just me but many others….and I have no idea why!
I am very curious about most things and feel it in my hands, like a flutter, and also a lightness in my chest. My impatience is with Bumblebee and the not knowing why he is lame- there has to be something we are missing, and what did I do to deserve the unprovoked attacks.
I LOVE impatience! It’s a message is that there’s a better faster way. It’s going to be fun to figure out what that is. Oh mannn you are gonna love this book Catherine. Changing what’s going on around those people is going to be fun too!
As always Jenny, perfect timing as I was heading into overwhelm with it all. Thank you and I am excited at the prospects!
I care about getting out and about with my two horsey friends. I care that I’m NOT currently getting out with them. I am impatient for this. I am curious about how to do it, what is missing and why. What am I to learn? I feel open to it, and I feel that they want it, and I want it. But we are blocked. Taking the curiosity to this.
Ooo That’ll be an interesting one! <3
This is great and great start on the New Year😍 when it comes to curiosity, I believe that I am a curious human and that the curiosity had led me to where I am today, but when I feel into it, I got a happy feeling but also stuck feeling in my chest. And that makes me curious feeling into impatience I’ve got a bubbling feeling.
When it comes to what I care about, I care about many things. One thing is that it seems to be impossible for me to have my own time and space. And here I am impatient. I think this is the most important to me right now.
⛄️💞
Ahhh the wonders of impatience when it’s not stuck Anna Karin. <3 Much love to you.
There will be a big change in my life soon, I will quit my job as a teacher, work extra in a garden trade and after that I will see what’s will turn up 😌
I’m somewhere in the middle of the book and there has been a lot about the change places. Jenny, I’m familiar with this framework for getting to a goal or “something you care about.” I’m feeling pretty lost, though, because I don’t feel a strong connection to any particular goal, however “big” or freely I try to imagine it. Not knowing what I really want is what I feel blocked about.
Any pointers here?
I’m sure there will be other people with a similar question Robyn, thanks for bringing it up. That blocked feeling – each time you notice it, you could get curious about that. Also, when you look around your life and your world, is there anything that upsets you or worries you? That’s a pretty good indication of Care Factor. Or do you already feel a deep sense of inner peace, even in your dreams, are surrounded by the world you want and don’t actually want anything else at all?
So many things came to mind and a common thread is that they rely on improving my physical and mental health. I’d love to unlock the freedom within myself to take up space (I did not about that sentence before I wrote it, it’s like it wrote itself. Curious!).
I’m also going to note that I am extremely sceptical that I can change things to the degree where I can ride again, find romantic love, be present and engage more with my family (and for some reason, develop basic carpentry skills!). So hopefully we get to laugh about my skepticism one day 🙂
Oh Michaela, I look forward to that too. And wowwwww about that sentence writing itself – that sounds powerful! Can you feel me smiling from here? See if you can find curiosity about your feeling skeptical. I reckon there’ll be an ahhhaaa understanding in there. And, if you’ve never had me do a quick test for the physical causes of mental health issues, come back to me.
Quit my job. Start a business.
Ooooo good luck with that Andrew! Or should I say, happy inner guidance system!