Feeling sorry for someone is part of our caring and creation process – but like all the other ways of feeling crappy, getting stuck in this emotion for too long isn’t useful to them or to us. (One of my Aussie understatements there!)

When we slow our mind down, go inside to our inner guidance system and look for what to know or do about feeling sorry for someone, we’ll find the perfect answer that not only fits with how to support them best, but also fits with the best thing that we can do.
Here’s another way of looking at this feeling “stuck in feeling sorry for someone” from the escalating upsets point of view. Does this way of supporting others add to their ability to reach their dream or add to their struggle?”
Are we escalating each other into the powerful change that’s possible or are we putting out the buffet and drinks for their pity party? In case my Aussie sense of humor doesn’t translate, that means “are we adding to their burden with our pity?”

I’ll talk you through that escalating diagram for those who are on a phone and might not be able to read it.
Here’s the person who’s unwell or who’s had some really crappy thing happen in their life – reaching out to you for support (or not) and they’re struggling with this awful thing, maybe even stuck in feeling sorry for themselves. And here’s us, watching them go through that terrible time and stuck in feeling sorry for them too. We’re probably trying to be good friends or supportive family and cheer them up or “make” them better.
Our stuckness in feeling sorry for them, adds on to whatever feeling crappy that they’ve already got going on and it escalates what they’re feeling. That escalation, that more intense feeling is projected across to us and because we’re still stuck, we feel even crappier.
While we’re still stuck in feeling sorry for them and because we’re all feeling really crappy by now, it’s more tempting to push our ideas of what will make them better (because we care) and then they add resistance caused by their defensiveness to their last lot of feeling crappy and up it escalates again.
Now we’ve got their escalated feelings about being stuck, added to our stuck in feeling sorry for them, added to their increased resistance to us pushing our own ideas, escalating into both of us feeling even crappier again.
You get the idea hey? We both end up in however we uniquely experience our overwhelm – and their overwhelm will be different to ours. Worrying ourselves sick, explosive energy, no energy, anxiety even panic attacks, aches and pains, breath, heart problems and other illnesses decreasing our ability to heal fast, can’t sit still or concentrate, anguish, despair, hopelessness. Did I miss any of the ways of feeling overwhelm?
These feelings de-escalate immediately we understand what it is that we need to know or do about our own “stuck in feeling sorry for them” feelings. That understanding will most likely bring us an understanding of how best to support them. Then what they’ll feel instead is truly being seen and heard as the powerful beings of creating that they are. They’re being held in a safe space to work out their own “stuff” on the way to fulfill their own destiny or create or change the things they care about. And that folks is what we call Holding Space. You’ll feel Caroline, Sandra and I and the rest of our lovely experienced community here, doing that for you in the live events. That’s what makes these gatherings so powerful for all of us.
When we find the energy at the heart of The Paradox, when we find the rightness behind this utterly wrong thing that we’re feeling sorry for them about, then we’ll really be supporting them with the infinite power of god or the universe that we are part of, that is within us and within them.
And holy shit is all that really true?
Are you curious to know if all that is really true?
If you’ve got someone that your heart is just breaking for because of the horrifying thing that’s happened or is happening to them, bring this very big concept into a live event and put your hand up to feel the truth or not of it for yourself. I’ve put the link here.