From Karin with Bonnie:
Karin had some very frustrating problems with her internet, trying to connect to Tuesday’s call. I had thought to coach her to create change in that area, but here’s what came up instead.
What’s come up for Karin, is that she has spread herself far too thin. And the rushing that she’s doing trying to keep up with too many projects on the go at the same time, is detrimental to them and the internet problem that keeps manifesting is a reflection of that. Rather than focus on manifesting a change in the internet (which feels too hard to her) the subject of Bonnie’s tick problem came up.
The tick problem has two aspects:
1. The practical – get curious about “what do I do with these hundreds of tick nymphs that have attached to her?” and allow the guidance to come up. While she was doing that, I got the idea to use her sheepskin to gently stroke diatomaceous earth onto all the affected areas of her body.
2. The second part was the BIG PICTURE. What’s the rightness behind the wrongness of these ticks, so that she can create change around them? We are so much more powerful than we think we are at influencing what goes on around us.
And as I write this, I got the insight about one of the most gorgeous examples of how we create infinite opportunities when we do this inner guidance work. I’ll attach the lesson from Olivers Diaries about it in the resources below this section.
When Oliver arrived, he was lethally unaware of his body and where it was – disconnected from it and he didn’t like to be touched – specially at feeding time. By following my inner guidance system just as I normally do, we opened up the infinite possibilities and we manifested / created biting flies that were tormenting him at feed time. I got the idea to stroke them off while he was feeding, creating comfort for him at feed time. So the biting flies WERE the opportunity for Oliver to re-connect with his body – they were a practical reason that he enjoyed the stroking of my whip on his body as I shoo’ed the flies away. Every stroke of my whip increased his awareness of his body and where it was in space.
So here’s the infinite possibilities that Karin opened up – Bonnie doesn’t like being brushed, even though she tolerates the sheepskin that came up in last week’s session, better than the brush. And here Karin is, she’s manifested / created the tick problem to explode – a GIFT that will enable the application of diatomaceous earth on the sheepskin to be a thing that brings Bonnie ease to these hundreds of baby ticks that are tormenting her. Ahhhhaaaa…
My point – There’s two aspects when it comes to healing ourselves or supporting someone else’s body mind and spirit to heal:
1. The practical technique / thing to do / action to take.
2. Then there’s big picture of what’s happening – the rightness behind the wrongness that unleashes the energy at the heart of the paradox – at the very line where the rightness meets the wrongness, where we open up unlimited possibilities.
Melissa and Indigo
I’ve hesitated because I didn’t feel sure about which insights and reflections were appropriate/relevant to share. After reading the shares from other students that you sent out, I see how participating is one of the main benefits available. I got so much from reading the others shares.
We’re in the middle of our winter here and we’re emerging from a wicked ice storm that was just coming on during the first class. I’ve been staying with my take aways from the class, using them while I’m indoors, as well as when I’m out tending.
I wake in the middle of the night for an hour or two as a regular habit. Often I use the time to read, or meditate or just practice my quiet mind and breath work. One night after I’d watched the first class recording, I got my mind quiet and began listening to my body, bringing my curiosity to this insight about a kind of parallel experience with my brother and my relationship & experiences with Indigo. I’d had some wondering and glimpses of the similar patterns of experience, but that night I was not interested in a narrative or analytical thing, just the feel. Ideas came, incomplete thoughts, words, phrases….without thinking about it, I heard that my father’s brutality and my mother’s rage were part of the threads in my brother’s & my relationship. Again, without analyzing or narrating conclusions about all that, I just stayed curious and felt something soften & melt. I slept soundly after that.
Next day, and the days since, I’ve seen changes in my interaction with Indigo, less apprehension, less defensiveness and tension for us both. There’s so much more that’s in the realm of sensing and feel, and hard to articulate. And more importantly, more work to be done here, but what a startling start. I had not thought or used words like brutality and rage (in fact, it’s a bit hard to type here) with regard to my relationship with Paul, and I certainly hadn’t seen how it could be playing out in the prickliness between Indigo and I.
I’m so heartened by the softening and small changes in the quality of attention Indigo & I have with each other.
Me to Melissa
Being able to stay in that gentle, curious space during something so big – far out that’s just wonderful! I wonder if attending to it in the middle of the night like that, helped? If there’s any “charge” left on the words brutality and rage then it might be easier to find the curiosity now. i.e. after the big feeling about the words has softened with a bit of time and space (or access to the amplified field. <3 )
I sometimes find that I can’t soften into something and find curiosity in the moment, cos it’s just too overwhelming and all I can do is my best to flow with it in the moment. For me, pain can be like that. But mannn… afterwards I bring the curiosity to bear when it’s not so overwhelming and I CAN manage it. So instead of the same thing replaying over and over again, going round and round in circles, I’m creating space for the message of it / or the healing / or the creating something new or different / whatever it is that will arise from the feeling.
An email exchange with Lynda who is working with Bailey
The clinic last night was absolutely amazing – thank you so much!! There was a really nice energy on the call, I felt very peaceful and safe! Loved everyone sharing their stories about their horses, so much learning for us all. I was continuing to feel into what was causing the heaviness in my shoulders – at first I got that it was my sister, more of a thought than a feeling though, then as the call went on I got a huge hit that is was my mother (who is no longer living), so that was a huge realisation right there! I love how you invite us to be curious about what is behind all these things, it really lightens everything up instead of having all the worry and not knowing how to solve things. So today I am getting curious about a lot of things! It really gives things a different perspective. I have had the realisation that all the burdens in life and all the misery I have been carrying is my mother’s. Wow!
I’m going to abbreviate this a bit, so that you get the heart of it. Lynda was flat out getting through all her chores with her horses, which took about 3 hours with “cleaning them up, trimming feet, treating very bad whole body rashes/rain scald on my mare plus mud fever and tick bites”. She was overwhelmed by all the many things she had to get done for them in the incessant rain and being in flooded paddocks where LL wouldn’t let her move them. The part I zeroed on was this “I find I’m focused on the chores rather than connecting and enjoying.” 🙂
Then she said “So it was good I had the awareness to slow down, be more gentle and connect, just need to put that into action aye! I always feel so time pressured and that I need to rush to get started on the next horse etc. When I bring Bailey in on his own I feel we really connect more. Today is a a new day to try and be better!
Me back to Lynda: Yeah that rushing stuff is SUCH a big deal – we’re literally out of the moment and a horse has to really shout for us to hear when we’re like that. Here’s your mission should you choose to accept it. Do a quiet mind / meditation / set your intention to understand / find the curiosity about what’s behind your rushing and the overwhelm that happens then. Whose overwhelm is it?
Lynda’s reply: Beautiful, I will do the meditation before I go out to get Bailey, thank you! Also thanks re the D.E. I’m not actually sure its rain scald as it looks more like hives or an allergic reaction of some kind, everyone else is saying rain scald though but it looks different to me! I’ve done a couple of iodine washes which has helped, I’m more worried about the mudfever and swollen leg as other horses here have got cellulitis which started out as mud fever. All our paddocks are soaked and with the high temps and 90% humidity its a breeding ground for germs!! She was doing better yesterday then this morning her leg was up like a balloon again, rained all night! I’l get her walking today to see if some of the swelling will subside. Thanks again for the advise – I will accept the mission of doing the meditation and get curious about who this rushing and overwhelm belongs to!!! big hugs xx
Me to everyone in the clinic this time. Worry = fear so what is Lynda going to do about that fear? We sure as heck aren’t going to ingnore it, not are we going to go round and round in circles worrying. We want to find that place of inner peace, take whatever action is required (if any), find the rightness behind the wrongness (probably about the old stuff) so that Lynda CAN create what she wants to create with her horse. We’ll look forward to investigating this in the live session!
I know I have some other lovely emails, but I’m running out of time to get this to you in time for you to have a look before our next session and I’ve tried to put something in here for everyone who’s been in contact. Except I haven’t replied to Anna Karin about her two videos – I’d love to have a live discussion around that clicker training with your gorgeous boy.
Extra Resources for you
Each of these is being put up in response to individual needs and I’m making them available to everyone. Glance at them and see if there’s anything in it for you right now, but there’s no need to drown yourself in information. It’s one of the beauties of working on line is that it’s always thee for you to come back to if and when you need it.
For Karin with Bonnie, a lesson from Oliver’s Diary that Steve and I smilingly call “Don’t argue with God” Fancy that and Steve’s on the clinic! Click here for that lesson.
For Karen and Anna-Karin, two lessons about helping a horse to learn new things with confidence. For Karen it’s about expanding her horse’s comfort zone to be gigantic, so he’s confident about learning new things and even looks to her when he’s afraid. For Anna-Karin that’s to add more possibilities for Jeremiha to get confident and not need to be in control.
Click here for Preparation for riding out with fun and safety
Click here for Get your horse looking to you when they’re afraid
For Kelly, here’s two lessons about separation anxiety that will help her understand why her horse is more upset about THE OTHER horse being upset at her leaving. That’s two of her horses in the picture.
Click here for Separation anxiety – leaving happily with the herd bound horse
Click here for Separation anxiety – leaving a herd bound horse behind
For Kim and Suzanne, a lesson from Journey to Feel about the early warning signal that something is Not Quite Right, plus an exercise to do with Harmony (Kim) and Minga (Suzanne) around that, that I suspect will help Kim and Harmony with their overwhelm and give Suzanne a foundation of relaxation with Minga. Once he HAS a comfort zone, you can use your listening skills to start to expand the comfort zone around more and more things, until eventually you have a confident horse. Click here for Not Quite Right.
And then click here for the horse exercise called More of Not Quite Right
Go back to the webpage I sent out for last Thursday, where you’ll find the link to brush up on the incredibly important Comfort Zone Model.
Update on Goldie
The paradox of healing happening at last.
I went and got the feeds and in some very weird behavior, Oliver wouldn’t move out of the way and go to his feed bin – so I backed off into the feed bin area out of his reach and waited and waited and waited. It took about 15 minutes (was it REALLY that long?) before he moved away and I could walk out with the feeds without feeling pressured and crowded.
Every now and again I’d send him an image of “over to your feed bins” to him and Goldie both. And a couple of times I gave a gentle wave of “move out of the way please” but he was very weirdly ignoring me and I got that this wasn’t about Oliver at all and I shouldn’t put any pressure at all on him to move out of the way.
Eventually, Goldie left her shark circling that she was doing at the back of the herd and walked over to her bin. Clearly that was what Oliver was waiting for , cos he backed off politely all by him self as normal as did Rapunzel better than she has since I started feeding twice a day hmmm she’d slipped.
So what we had was a whole herd working together to help Goldie “get” something. I can’t tell you how often that’s happened in the past. It’s really lovely to notice what looks like a “problem” has turned out to be a horse bringing us the gift of helping another horse for our benefit.
After that when I went to get my phone to take the photo above, I came back out and Goldie’s breathing was heavy and labored and for the first time I could listen to it and feel my heart chakra running, stay open and curious and then we found the rightness behind the wrongness and that wonderful energy started running. It’s interesting that it’s taken me this long to feel the rightness behind the wrongness and feel the Paradox energy around her breathing. There was a big vulnerability I needed to work through and process about having a group of people watch me working with one of my own horses who was so ill there were so many layers of different things in there, including worrying about being judged.
Remember … worry = fear and what are we going to do about it? lol!
I am in huge relief that I’ve found that energy / place of rightness at last. We’ll see what happens with Goldie from here!
The Paradox of Healing
You might like to reflect on what it took for me to find the energy at the heart of the Paradox – which wasn’t all horse or healing stuff. Some of it was MY stuff that seemingly had nothing to do with Goldie’s breathing, but it affected my ability to find inner peace around her breathing and affected my ability to find the rightness behind the wrongness. So I had to attend to WHATEVER came up for me during this process.
I love to drive points home by repeating them in different ways lol! And we’ll talk about this one again in class too, because it is such a big deal.