The day Bobby died he spent two hours on and off blazing love at me with an intensity I’d never felt before. Not the romantic kind of love that you first think of, or the awww kind of love we feel for small creatures. It had a fierceness to it and yet that’s not a good word. It was so strong I couldn’t handle it for long periods of time. I repeatedly had to look away and then come back to it.
He wasn’t supposed to be dying that day. Tiny Blondie had had cancer for many years without it bothering her until one day her breathing was off and I knew it was her time. I booked the nice man to come and help her out.
That morning I went out ahead of time to bring her up and keep her close and Bobby was standing there looking at me.
“It’s not her it’s me.” he said.
It wasn’t too big a shock because, even though we’d fixed his blindness twice, he had been steadily going more and more blind again. As a thoroughbred at rising 30 I’d known his time had to be coming some time soon and when the blindness entered the mix, well….
I guess he slipped his dying day in like that so I wouldn’t have too much time to get upset.
So I got all his favorite foods and a mountain of carrots and oats and sat out with him, remembering our time together and thanking him for the oh so many gifts he brought me and that he’d brought to you and your horses too. His book was in 14 different countries last time I counted and thousands of people all over the world have transformed their relationships with their horses thanks to him and his courage to resist me and his willingness to teach me. All this beautiful Feel work we do, started with him.
For two hours on and off, he blazed love to me that was too intense for me to experience for too long. Don’t ever believe anyone who says horses don’t feel love. I’ve personally experienced love from horses many times and it’s a particular joy of my work when people feel that love from their horse for the first time as they’re learning to feel their Feel for their horse. This was bigger than that though.
Something special just happened. While I was writing this I was connecting with the memories of that day and realized something huge. This was the same intense feeling of joy that I connected with for a split second when I felt my father in law’s experience as he died. Far out I’m going to sit with that for a while.
Continued later…
The whole morning was surreal. Bobby hadn’t finished with his blessings. He was grazing loose in the hay yard with the herd just the other side of the gate when the nice young man with the gun arrived. He walked up to him deliberately – yes that’s Bobby walking up to the gun oh so deliberately – put his head on the young man’s heart and rested there for a few moments and blazed some of that feeling to him too.
The nice young man stepped away a couple of metres and Bobby was gone.
“Horses DO love us” is one of my topics for the Art of the Horseman On-Line Fair coming up in a couple of weeks.
I got more than I bargained for when I started to write this article to introduce The Art of the Horseman Horse Fair hey? I hope you did too. The two presentations I’ve contributed are “Horses DO love us when they’re not afraid” and “Six shortcuts to joyful riding”. There’s some brilliant presentations from some brilliant people that I’m looking forward to.
Click the picture below and it’ll take you to your free two day ticket to 150 presentations from 50 world class teachers and trainers. There’s a shift that’s been gathering momentum to a kinder and gentler way of being with horses that I’m sure Bobby’s watching with approval.
Dear Bobby, that was just lovely. After my heart surgery, the first time I went out to the horses Sierra left her food, came over and sunk her head in my chest, all I could feel was an overwhelming feel of ‘you’r back’ not ‘where were you?’ I think she knew the seriousness of my absence.
We are so blessed with these relationships hey. And I’m pleased to see you back too! <3
Beautiful. But is it not done with another method? I apologize for not knowing.
If you mean helping a horse out when they’re ready to die, then there are several methods Anne. Because I keep horses all their lives, I find I’ve had to help quite a few out of this life. I’ve used the vet and found that often the horse gets scared as their legs start to wobble before they fall over in the “put to sleep” part before they inject the chemicals. In one monumental emergency when I couldn’t get a vet for hours and hours of agony, the guy with a gun was available straight away and I discovered how much faster and easier that was for the horse. So now I like the gun best. I’d prefer not to be having to do anything at all and sometimes we’re blessed to not have to.
Absolutely amazingly beautiful. Thank you for that. X
Beautiful Jenny. 🙏❤️💜