I’ve heard riders talk about giving hands and firm hands, about holding budgies in your hands softly so you don’t squash them and firmly enough so they don’t fly away, about the iron fist in the velvet glove – and it’s all a load of shite, because good hands don’t come from your hands at all – they come from your WHOLE body – and even from your mind and spirit too.
And THAT’s why teachers get frustrated trying to explain how to have good hands with your horse and and why people struggle so hard looking for it – because focusing on your hands is focusing on the wrong thing.
If I look at photos and videos on the internet, only a tiny, tiny fraction of one percent of riders have it – and yet it’s so easy when you approach it with whole of body, mind and spirit approach.
There’s a magical feeling created between horse and human by what I call Magic Hands.
On a physical level Magic Hands comes from an effortlessly powerful riding seat – it’s the spine and pelvis being in THE perfect position for you – available to flex and give to the horse in a way that feels incredibly connected and smooth and kind of spongey – and THAT gives the hands the contrasting feel of giving and yet firm, of the gentleness and yet strength that everyone is looking for. Don’t roll your eyes thinking that’s too hard – follow my lead and the solution is pretty much easy.
Magic Hands have a gentleness about them and yet they can be so very strong with their connection if they need to be, without losing their gentleness and beautiful connection to the horse.
And your horse LIKES it. 🙂 AND it’s EASY when you have a systematic path to find it.
The physical side of Connection with your horse
You know, when I use the the word “connected”, I know that most people are not going to be thinking of connection in the same way that I am.
I am talking DEEEEP connection.
I am talking about that incredible feeling that you get when it all comes together and you are just flowing As One with your horse, when the sunshine seems brighter and the day is more sweet – where you just think and you and your horse move together, where you look after each other and simply everything in your world together feels really good.
The physical side of this deep connection I am talking about is such a beautiful riding position that the rider is finely tuned enough – sensitive enough – to be able to feel those stuck spots, braces and resistances in their horse. Then they can use that sensitivity and that beautiful riding seat and the Magic Hands that comes from all of that, to help a horse to release these symptoms of stress.
Most riders aren’t even aware of those stuck spots and resistances and for good reason – most of what most people have been taught about a good riding position and effective aids on a horse is crap (with a very few notable exceptions). ( There’s a whole blog in this topic.) I suspect that it’s because the truly great riders are so naturally talented that they don’t even know what it is that makes them so good at what they do.
It’s not just getting the result of a great ride either. The healing opportunities in riding like this are phenomenal and I’m not talking about chicken feed – I’m talking about healing serious conditions like arthritis and muscle wastage, sacro-iliac problems, damaged saggy backs, wobbling hocks, ligament injuries, joint problems and much more.
So how does that healing happen?
These stuck spots, resistances and braces are the result of some kind of stress and pushing through them, putting pressure on them INCREASES that stress and INCREASES the stuck spots, braces and resistances. There’s a another whole blog in that topic too, but I’ve already written that one, so email me if this is an area of particular interest and I’ll send you the link / lessons. 🙂
When we help our horse to release the stresses, the horse too, comes into effortlessly powerful posture and then the muscles and bones, tendons and ligaments can start healing the way they were designed. There’s yet another whole blog in this subject and I’ve already written this one too. 🙂
The mental and emotional side of Deeep connection and Magic Hands
On a mental and emotional level, a deep connection with your horse and Magic Hands with your horse comes from THEIR freedom from fear or anxiety.
Think about it… Fear and anxiety causes tension that has our horse DISconnecting from us and Magic Hands requires relaxation on behalf of horse AND rider and is super connected.
Even more magic comes from empowering the horse to be part of the process of being the best that you can be together. The great masters all talked about their horse being their teacher. Allowing our horse to be be part of problem solving shifts our relationship into a whole new gear of togetherness.
Magic Hands also comes from our authenticity – a willingness to Feel and understand our feelings.
Oh dear, I’m going to have to explain this more. and are we talking about riding horses here? Or some kind of spiritual thing?
Actually, we’re talking about the BEST of horsemanship here.
Feel
Our Feel is what makes a rider great. It’s what enables a rider to be in utterly in sync with their horse, to know the INSIDE of their horse and it’s utterly unique to each person.
Feel is a physical thing where we can feel every nuance of our horse’s body – we’ve already talked about that.
It’s also an emotional thing where we can Feel their emotions, where we can use what we Feel from them, to work together for both of us to feel peaceful and at ease and be filled with a sense of well being. Magic Hands have a component of relaxation and confidence together – stress and anxiety in either one of you creates a tension that gets in the way of Magic Hands. Stress and tension in either of you means that instead of feeling wonderful and everything flowing together, that stress and tension is your bio feedback to each other. Yuck…
Feel is also a thinking thing where we Feel their thoughts and “hear” their ideas and use that to work together for our common good. This aspect of feel is fabulous at problem solving when we get good at it.
Feel is a knowing thing where we feel the truth of what’s really going on for them and us. Oh yeah, this aspect of our Feel just cuts through so much blame and judgement and gets to the heart of what is REALLY going on – which means we get to resolve any “problems” sooo… much easier and more effectively and every so called problem that is solved like this, deepens the bond with our horse.
Feel is also an energy thing where we can feel the flow of energy in our bodies and in theirs, feel the stuck spots and use that Feel to get the flow of energy happening that brings us utterly into harmony.
And when our Feel is in balance, it’s a heart expanding, joyous thing.
And all those different ways of feeling our horse comes from a willingness to feel and understand our own feelings. Because our resistance to ANY of our feelings, reduces our ability to Feel for our horse. It’s kind of like when the vacuum cleaner is going so loud that you can’t hear the telephone ringing.
Feel is utterly unique to each rider – you cannot copy another rider’s Feel and succeed. In fact, from copying comes failure and a feeling that we are “not enough”.
I wondered how to bring that point home because it’s so incredibly important. You cannot copy another rider’s Feel and succeed.
Copying someone else’s feel is a recipe for struggling, a recipe for feeling like a failure and a recipe for feeling crappy and thinking that we’re not good enough and gosh I bet there’s loads of you who think that you’re not good enough, when nothing could be further from the truth.
We ALL have Feel.
We ALL have our own unique combination of those Feels that I’ve just talked about. If you’re alive you have the ability to Feel for your horse. The trick is to bring that knowing to your conscious mind and teach you how to use it and that folks, is MY talent – bringing your natural ability to feel to your conscious mind and teaching you how to use it. 🙂
So far, I’ve never met anyone I couldn’t teach Magic Hands to either.
If this is your first time on my blog, then check out our free monthly seminars “the Dummy spit anti-struggling revolution” – they’re themed around happiness, healing and horses.
If you just want Magic Hands and you want them ASAP,
then Fast Track to Brilliant Riding is what you’re looking for. It’s a path to Magic Hands that will knock your socks off while fixing all of the above. 🙂
Wow, I love this post, Jenny. Great information and insight
Lovely to hear from you Wendy. 🙂
Thanks Jenny, this is a great post. My mare has a tendency to baulk at new things when we’re out, and so her energy is often backwards, which renders my hands obsolete. She doesn’t spin around and run anymore, so we have a pause and try to overcome the scary thing, and i now know not to ask for something until her neck relaxes
Well that’s going to be interesting to work your way through! Have you tried stopping and backing up before she baulks? And supporting her in Inner Awareness until she licks and chews? I know it will take some pretty cool timing – but you’re the kind of rider to pull that off!